He's always busy. Remember: If a man likes you, he will seek you. The husband is really busy if

Incredible facts

Everything is not as difficult as you think.

Many women speculate, trying to understand why a man does not call or write.

Despite the obstacles that a woman thinks might prevent a man from taking initiative, the real reason is that he doesn't like you enough. This must be understood immediately and forever.

He's not shy. You don't scare him. And he has no problem with self-esteem.

If a man is interested, no distance gets in his way.But if he is not interested in you, you can live in the next apartment, and it will be too far for him.

How to understand that a man likes you

© Nejron

A man has a strong desire to be proactive in a relationship. This is part of showing off his masculinity. He wants to get what he wants.

The man loves the chase. Believe me, when he sees what he wants, he starts chasing it. If the man you like is not stalking you, he is not interested in you.

Men can come up with thousands of excuses why they don't want to get women. They can say whatever they want, often beat around the bush so as not to hurt her feelings, and not directly say that he is not interested.

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He may say that he is busy, that he has a blockage at work, that he has many other things to do, he may even simply disappear from your life.

He can be very handsome and his smile will drive you crazy. He can open the door in front of you and even ask you for a few dates.

But what about those confusing messages that you don't know how to interpret? How about those times when you were trying to figure out what you did wrong and why it went missing for a while?

How a loving man behaves

© Oleg Baliuk

Stop chasing after someone who isn't willing to give you time, who doesn't bother to talk to you.The moment you start to doubt whether you matter to him, you need to stop communicating with him.

Don't become a woman who lets men play with her mind, feelings and body. A woman should be confident enough in herself, know her worth and not waste time waiting for a man who is not ready to achieve her.

This may sound old-fashioned to you, but think about this. A man shows himself when he meets you, when he communicates, looks after and tries to impress you.

© yacobchuk / Getty Images

A real man will pursue you. He will motivate you to be better, he will admire you and your flaws. He will not use them against you when he is angry or annoyed, like an immature boy would. He will respect you no matter what.

He will help you get closer to your goals because he wants you to succeed. He wants you to be happy.

A real man does not play with feelings, like with a toy, and will not ask you out on a date only when it is convenient for him.

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We are all busy, but if he really cares about you, he will make time for you, and will not try to squeeze you into that gap when he has nothing to do.

Be with the man who shows interest, who doesn't make you doubt or rack your brains, and for whom you will be a priority.

Of course, loneliness is difficult, but waiting for someone who is not interested in you can be even more painful. Allow time to do its job. And while you are waiting for him, love yourself with all your heart so that a truly brave man wants to pursue you.

You are dating a man who is very interesting to you, but the problem is that he works very hard. There is no time for you. At the same time, he wants a relationship, is ready to look after, but he has free time only on weekends (and then he sleeps off first). Why is work more important for him, and even in the candy-bouquet period, he cannot find on time? Should such a relationship continue?

This situation is not uncommon. Self-realization at work is very important for men. It does not depend on their desire or unwillingness - these are the rules of the game that society builds. Firstly, work raises the status of a man, giving him the opportunity to manage, feel confident, secondly, it allows him to earn money to provide for his family, and, thirdly, there is an opportunity to realize his abilities. Therefore, many men perceive work as a place of strength and gaining independence - sometimes to the point that over time they turn into workaholics.

What is a man trying to avoid with such a pronounced accentuation at work? It is known that the most zealous workaholics appear in families where there is no way to get the required amount (and quality) of communication and warmth. So you have to compensate in another place - at work. This means that the easiest way to wean a man from excessive attachment to work is to make his home a cozy and pleasant place for him, where he can always receive a portion of care, affection and love. It is worth making an attempt to have a heart-to-heart talk with your partner, help him move away from the usual fixation at work. It is useful to tell him in a calm, warm conversation that material support is far from the most important thing that you need from him.
Don't be afraid of compliments. Feel free to over praise. Tell the man how much you value him. For everything he does for you, not only for money. By doing so, you will actually show the value of the time spent together.

According to the psychological type, men who have earned money are divided into workaholics and hardworkers.
A workaholic works like a squirrel in a wheel, not even expecting to reap the benefits of his labors. Work for him is an end in itself. For a hard worker, work is a good way to achieve the desired results in life. For example, driving a good car, living in a spacious apartment, being able to travel to a resort with your family. That is, a hard worker works in order to use the earned and truly enjoy it.
Explain this difference to the man. Outline bright prospects for how much pleasure you can get from enjoying what you earned and using it for its intended purpose. Assure him that you will only be glad of it.

Often the main value for a workaholic is a sense of their own importance and exclusivity, which generates confidence: they are nowhere without me. And it is scary to rest, because it may turn out that "there" they can cope well without him. Therefore, it is important to give your man the confidence that you respect him for his achievements, no matter what others say.
Come up with a joint hobby (they must be in a good relationship). In some cases, the workaholic simply does not know what to do instead of work. There is even a projective psychological test: Name 5 things you do together, other than food and sex. If you can list them, the relationship can be considered conditionally stable. If not, fill this gap urgently!
Be emotionally attractive. A woman with a sparkle is what men dream of. Show in practice that the family is much better and more comfortable than at work. Don't hold back your passion and temperament. To do this, you need to enter the so-called emotionally resourceful state. For this, remember a life situation when you were "at your peak": cheerful, seductive, happy with yourself and with life. Watch it like a starring movie, from start to finish. Live as much as possible in the created image, carefully monitoring the sensations from each scene. If everything is done correctly, you are guaranteed a good emotional state.

How to get your husband's love back?
Some women have such a character that they make fun of others all the time. Most of all, of course, goes to their husbands. They seem to react adequately at first, but in the end, as a rule, they explode, believing that they are humiliated in this way and are not given a penny. How to calm and improve relationships?
Constantly making fun of others is a sign of hidden aggression, a desire to devalue another person in order to feel a little higher, better. This aggression protects an unstable self-esteem, that is, self-assertion occurs at someone else's expense.
The husband feels this initially and endures as much as he can, but his sense of self-respect will sooner or later be opposed. The wife needs to admit that she was wrong, to tell that behind her jokes there is a fear of openly showing true feelings, including love. You need to tell him how valuable he is and that the wife understands the inappropriateness of this style of communication. It is worth understanding the relationship with yourself. A person who truly respects himself will never humiliate others, especially close people.

Why is he rushing things?
After two months of dating, the young man immediately surrounds him with care, insists on meetings every day and almost sets a date for meeting his parents. Why is he rushing things? For many girls, this behavior is as alarming as the opposite. If something like this happened to you, think: are you not worthy of care and attention, or can you not make a young man want to see you every day? What do you suspect him of?
Of course, if you are a rich heiress or a wealthy business woman, then selfish intentions on the part of a man and a desire not to miss a tidbit are possible. Sex maniacs usually do not introduce girls to their parents. As a rule, decent young people from prosperous, friendly families do this. They have nothing to hide from their parents, they take their opinion into account.
Acquaintance with the parents does not oblige him to anything, and he, by the way, too. No matter how the young man is in a hurry, it depends on you how quickly the relationship will develop.

You met a man, you liked him, but for some reason the relationship does not move from a dead center ... Alas, life is not always like a romantic fairy tale. It is possible that you simply did not like your chosen one. How to find out so as not to waste energy on building hopeless relationships? Psychologist Elena Godina advises.

The fact that a man rejects a woman is not always obvious to her, says the specialist. - Especially if she is really not indifferent to this man. Any little thing can be taken as a sign of attention. And yet, this is not so ... How can you stop deceiving yourself?

If a man is interested, then upon meeting he will certainly ask the lady for a phone number or other coordinates. Didn't ask? So you are not the heroine of his novel. You don't have to waste any more time.

Sometimes it happens that after one or two dates, a man realizes that you are not his option. He loses interest in you and stops communicating.

Of course, the man's short "silence" is not yet evidence of anything, says Elena Godina. He may be busy, sick, on a business trip, and so on. But if your boyfriend disappeared without warning for a month or two, you should be on your guard. However, there is nothing to be ashamed of, and you can try to call or write to him, the psychologist advises. By the reaction of your chosen one, it will be clear whether he is going to continue the relationship.

If a man does not answer your emails, and you can never get through to him on a mobile phone, then most likely he does not want to keep in touch with you anymore. We'll have to come to terms.

The same is true if a man constantly tells you that he is busy. Remember - if a woman is interested in a man, he will always find an opportunity to communicate with her. Therefore, do not create illusions.

Even if you have had sex, this is not a reason to think that the man is now yours. This is the mistake of many women. Perhaps the man had sex with you under the influence of a momentary desire and now feels uncomfortable when you call him and try to make a new appointment. In general, according to the rules of etiquette, after a sexual date, your partner should call himself. If he is silent, then it was only sex, and nothing else.

Unfortunately, men are often themselves to blame for the fact that women misunderstand them, says psychologist Elena Godina. - It happens that a man is simply too well-bred and hesitates to show a woman that he has no feelings for her.

He can chat with a woman amicably, be polite, and she takes it for a man's interest. It seems to many ladies that if a man communicates with them, then the matter is in the ointment. Meanwhile, this representative of the stronger sex can thus communicate with absolutely all women.

Some men also flirt with everyone. If any woman takes this for something more serious, they are sincerely surprised, since they are sincerely convinced that they did not give a reason ... This often happens, for example, in work collectives.

What are the signs of real interest on the part of a man?

He tries to look at you all the time.

He tries to be constantly in touch. For example, if he can’t call you, then he is sure to get in touch via the Internet.

He is interested in your business.

He is eager to meet with you if possible.

In personal communication, he seeks to touch you. Even if he does not directly offer to have sex, there is always a certain sexual interest in his behavior.

If most of these signs are absent, then this man does not need you.

Of course, you can still try to win his favor, but forcibly, as they say, you won't be nice, - says Elena Godina. - It is better to look for a new chosen one than to cling to someone who is not interested in you. Believe me, sooner or later there will always be someone who needs you.

READ THE MOST INTERESTING IN LOVE:

"Good day! I am 25 years old, I work, go in for sports, love music, read and go out with friends.

Three weeks ago I met a guy. His name is Alexey. He is 26, he works a lot, studies in absentia at the university. By nature, he is kind, gentle, polite and modest. A sympathy arose between us at once. We spent 3 days together. He constantly complimented me, courted me. He asked me for a phone number himself. We called each other during the week and wanted to see each other on the weekend.

But then he wrote to me that he had a session and he had to prepare all weekend. I was very upset, but tried to understand what he really needed to do. I'm sure he doesn't have another girlfriend. Yes, and I already know his parents. They treated me well.

Then he wrote to me in the week and invited me out of town with his friends. I gladly agreed. He held my hand all the time, courted me in front of friends. In general, I saw that he was glad that we were spending the weekend together. Then we went to him. And until the next day we were together. And he offered to see each other next weekend too. But then he canceled everything again, saying that he urgently needed to help his parents.

During the week he writes to me very rarely, but he calls and does not speak. He doesn't even have time for me! I feel like I don't need him at all. If he doesn't want to communicate with me, why won't he tell? I feel unnecessary and that he doesn't like me at all (although all friends think the opposite). I begin to think that something is wrong with me. I understand that he is a busy person. But you can allocate at least one day off for me, since he likes me ?! I don't know how to behave in this situation: maybe ignore it? But I really like him, and I want to see him more often.

Please help me figure it out: what to do in such a situation and how to behave? How to understand his behavior? I am very worried and blame myself. Help.

Thanks in advance".

Olga, St. Petersburg

Psychologist's answer:

Someone else's soul is darkness even for the most familiar people, and for strangers it is simply an unknown and mysterious world. Since I can only rely on your words, some of my thoughts may be far from the truth. And yet, let's try to figure it out and think about what to do in this situation.

From your letter, I understood the following:

1. You are sympathetic to Alexei, and you would like to continue the relationship with him.
2. Alexey is a busy person, rarely calls / writes and periodically cancels appointments.
3. You are familiar with his parents and friends, and friends, by the way, are sure that Alexei likes you.
4. You doubt his feelings and have a lot of doubts related to his behavior and lack of time.

The fact that 3 weeks after meeting you are already familiar with his parents and friends is encouraging. A man is unlikely to introduce a girl to friends, and even more so to her parents, if he does not plan to continue the relationship or he does not like her. Thus, the likelihood of his mutual feelings is high enough.

In addition, now Alexei has a session, and, perhaps, this is not the best time to draw any conclusions, since objectively there is a factor that takes away additional time and energy from him.

I highly discourage ignoring Alexei. If he is a really busy person, then, first of all, he needs support and understanding from you, and whims and ignorance will not help here. On the contrary, I urge you to be honest. In front of Alexei and herself.

Reflect on what you would like, ideally, from this relationship in the near future (for example, 2-3 months). You write that you want to see each other more often, so think about HOW often YOU would like to see each other, and what frequency of meetings is the minimum acceptable for you. For example: “I want to spend one day off together and meet 2 times a week in the evenings; the least I agree to is one full day off in two weeks, but on a week when we don't spend the day off together, meet on a weekday. "

In addition, you write that Alexey has not called or written to you during the week. I suppose this is also an important point for you. Therefore, reflect on what you would ideally like, provided the relationship continues and what is minimally acceptable.

That is, in fact, by these reflections, you determine under what conditions this relationship is possible for you. After these reflections, you need to reveal your cards in front of Alexei. In a suitable atmosphere, when you are together, explain that you really like Alexey, but there are a number of times when you need to feel happy in a relationship, otherwise why all this? Tell us that you would like to see each other more, would like to receive periodic attentions from him (calls, SMS). Ask Alexey what he thinks about it? Is it possible to somehow fulfill your wishes? If possible, how exactly? What can you do to make you see, call and write more often?

Do not sharply put forward your demands: your reflections on ideal and acceptable conditions are necessary for you to decide whether you will continue this relationship or not. There are no secrets to getting the other person to do whatever you want. More precisely, there are various methods of manipulation, for example, ignoring in order to attract attention, but such methods cannot be used to build an open, honest and respectful relationship.

Thus, the best thing you can do is understand what you want, tell Alexey about it and find out if he is ready to take any steps. It is possible that he is not even aware of your need for such attention.

Don't be afraid to talk about your feelings and fears. The worst that can happen - Alexey will say that he is not ready to allocate time to develop relations with you. But if you do not discuss everything, you can suffer for a long time and interrupt with rare meetings on his part, then hoping, then worrying that he is “gone” again.

I would also like to say this: since you are pretending to strike up a relationship with a busy person, you should learn not to worry about his absence. Not calling you or canceling an appointment will often mean he's just busy. And it will have nothing to do with you. So the most important question now is: are you satisfied with this state of affairs?

If you have any additional questions or comments, please use the e-mail indicated on my page on the site (see the signature at the end of the answer). If you still want to discuss your feelings and experiences in the form of a conversation, then you can organize an in-person consultation in Moscow or a Skype consultation at a convenient time for you.