Who is a perfectionist meaning of the word. What is a Perfectionist? The meaning of the word, manifestation and types. How it manifests itself at work

Few know the meaning of the word "perfectionism", but on the other hand, probably everyone has met with perfectionists in their lives. They can be anyone: colleagues, friends, bosses, relatives. So who is a perfectionist? Does he need to be re-educated?

What is a "perfectionist": definition

Perfectionist is a purely psychological term.

What is a Perfectionist? This is a person who strives always, everywhere and in everything to achieve the best results.

Perfectionism is more of a personality trait. Why is she so interesting to psychologists? Because sometimes this trait turns into a pathology, and a person begins to reject any results of his and someone else's work only because they are not perfect enough. He does not accept himself, does not accept other people as they are. In short, sometimes perfectionism gives rise to a lot of problems and is able to bring a person to neurosis.

Perfectionist: the meaning of the word

Let's understand the features of this type of personality. What is a Perfectionist? Everyone knows the English word perfect - "perfect". A perfectionist strives for excellence in completely different areas of life: he can carefully monitor order or his appearance, he can demand high professional indicators from himself or others, etc. Sometimes the desire to do everything as best as possible is also called "excellent student syndrome."

But the word "perfectionist" needs to be viewed more broadly. You should not interpret it as if striving for a good result is considered a mental disorder, unacceptable and unnecessary. And even more so, such people cannot be considered abnormal. Until a certain point, perfectionism is beneficial, unless this character trait is hypertrophied.

Perfectionism and features of its manifestation

What is a Perfectionist? How does he manifest himself?

Perfectionism can be directed to:

to oneself (attempts to fit oneself to a self-invented ideal, harsh self-criticism);
to others (the need for the people around them to meet high requirements);
to the world (the need for everything in the world to function perfectly).

Social perfectionism stands apart - a person's attempts to conform to the ideals of society.

In what specific actions does the perfectionist differ from others?

He strives to bring any business to an ideal denominator.
Shows scrupulousness, special attention to detail.
Often depressed and stressed.

Reasons for perfectionism

The human psyche is not an easy thing. Psychologists make a lot of assumptions about why perfectionism appears in a person, but how can you say something for sure?

Initially, it was believed that people who strive for perfection in everything are raised in this way by parents. They instill in their children that they can only deserve love through personal achievement. They say that a person is worth something only if he has reached career or any other heights in this life. But additional studies have shown that it is not so much upbringing as genes that can make a person a perfectionist. If any of the parents or grandparents possessed this character trait, it will begin to manifest itself in children from childhood, even without creating favorable conditions.

Some psychologists insist that perfectionism is generated by a feeling of inferiority: they say, it is the feeling of being an inferior person that pushes an individual to overestimate life goals, setting complex goals, etc. that he is worth something.

What does perfectionism lead to?

A perfectionist is a completely harmless individual who properly performs his duties, keeps his word, is punctual and moderately impeccable. But when the pursuit of perfection becomes an obsession, when it reaches the scale of neurasthenia, this is certainly a dangerous phenomenon for human mental health. There are a lot of examples from life.

For example, it has already been said that a perfectionist is a person who is meticulous about details. But endless digging in small things does not allow completing projects on time and bringing things to the end. And since a perfectionist is a person of achievement, he often falls into depression, unreasonably considering himself a failure.

The need to achieve success in everything, to do everything ideally has a tremendous burden on the nervous system. This often leads to nervous breakdowns.

Intolerance towards others and criticism drives the perfectionist out of society and interferes with socialization.

How to beat perfectionism

What does the word "perfectionist" mean - it's clear. But how to keep this character trait under control?

One of the biggest problems with perfectionists is their obsession with details. They strive to immediately create a product that is on the verge of perfection from scratch. Because of this, "chronic excellent students" fall into a trap and do not complete their projects. It is necessary to break this vicious circle and begin to act somehow.

Perfectionists often run ahead and try to calculate all the moves. Do not do this. Problems must be addressed as they appear on the horizon. It must be remembered that the best is the enemy of the good. You shouldn't create the best right away - it makes sense to first set yourself a goal to create something good.

Errors should be treated more easily. It is the fear of making mistakes and disrupting the ideal flow of life that keeps perfectionists from taking really necessary action. They learn from mistakes, and it is they who help improve their performance over time.

So who is a perfectionist? We have found out the meaning of this word. Perfectionism is far from being a sentence, not a mental disorder, or a stigma. Striving for the best is necessary, improving is necessary. But you also need to be able to forgive yourself and others for mistakes, stop in time and enjoy the result. After all, as you know, there is no limit to perfection.

A perfectionist is a person who strives for excellence and ideal in everything... Such people believe that the best of all results can be achieved. Perfectionists, among others, are given out carefully cleaned shoes, an ironed shirt, a neat hairstyle and perfect order in the workplace and in the apartment.

All this perfection is constantly maintained.

Such people do not recognize omissions in conversations, uncertainty during decision making is alien to them. These people do not make mistakes and do not recognize them from others.

Often the very concept of "perfectionist" is perceived in a negative light, since human life is devoid of ideality. People judge differently, think and perceive reality differently.

All perfectionists are punctual. And they are great at finding time for everything at once. These people make great friends, they willingly come to the aid of others. In family life, such people strive to create ideal conditions for children and loved ones.

Whatever such a person does, he strives understand everything clearly, understand the problem and do the job perfectly accordingly. It is perfectionists who fill the world with discoveries.

The main positive feature of such a person can be called a strict focus on obtaining an ideal result.

Whatever obstacles perfectionists have to overcome, they do not stray from the path that should bring them closer to the desired goal. Among office workers, they are betrayed by their willingness and ability to perform large tasks. Perfectionist always sets high goals first, then he gives all of himself to work.

As soon as everything is done, he sets as a goal to achieve an even better result, that is, to bring the already existing business to the ideal.

Diligence and hard work, the ability to give all of themselves to work make such people very valuable to society. Steve Jobs and other geniuses often grow out of them, driving progress, and also making our world interesting. However, this is good until it starts to turn into mania and illness.

Perfectionism itself is closely related to feelings of dissatisfaction with oneself and others. Such people not only set high demands on themselves, but also present them to others.

Through constant hard work, perfectionists often accompanied by chronic fatigue. In pursuit of the ideal, they have no time to rest. Each failure inflicts a painful wound on them. As a result, they have an acute reaction to stress, a pessimistic mood, and often suicidal tendencies.

When a perfectionist gets stuck at work and fails to achieve the ideal result, it prevents him from receiving satisfaction from life. Since for such people everything else loses its meaning, a critical moment comes.

Like a medicine, too much perfectionism damages human health and life. There is nothing wrong with striving for the ideal. It's bad when a person is fixated on this and it turns into an obsession.

Perfectionists show their perfectionism in different ways, depending on the relationship to objects / subjects:

To a person or to yourself. The requirements are high, and it is more and more difficult to meet them. But through such a strict discipline, the number of scientists, writers, talented performers, etc. is increasing in the world.
To others. The perfectionist wants others to maintain discipline, order, and work hard as he does.
Your position in society. This aspect is revealed in the desire to best fit the environment. On the way to personal excellence, such people take into account the requirements and wishes of loved ones, significant people.
The world as a whole. Such aspirations border on utopia, because no one has yet managed to remake the world.

Of positive qualities perfectionism can be distinguished as follows:

hard work;
demanding attitude towards oneself;
discipline;
personal growth and self-development;
continuous improvement of skills and talents.

These zealous people have their own unique behaviors. They think about their actions for a long time in order to avoid oversights and mistakes, so that later they do not waste time on redoing.

Such people work for a very long time on individual tasks, not completing the work to the end. At this time they constantly looking for possible shortcomings and flaws. Perfectionists often take on one thing or the other, then give up these undertakings, if suddenly they are not satisfied with the fruits and results of their activities.

And this happens almost always! Perfectionists good workers, so the bosses are really lucky if they have such hard workers on their team. Such cadres will direct all their energy to the assigned tasks and, as a result, will bring them to perfection!

A perfectionist is an individual constantly striving for the ideal. The meaning of the perfectionist can be related to the meaning of the concept of perfection. That is why synonyms for the concept of perfectionist are precise, clear, and do not admit mistakes. Perfectionist antonym: careless, insecure, indefinite.

The meaning of a perfectionist is perceived by all people in different ways: one admires, the second scoffs, the third condemns. No matter how everyone perceives a perfectionist, what attitude they all have to his personality, but for him, perfectionism is a way of life, his rules.

A perfectionist is a person who lives by striving for absolute perfection, he constantly wants to correspond to the extreme degree of perfection. Sometimes, to explain what a perfectionist means, they use such a definition as "excellent student's syndrome." This means that such a person seeks to do everything in an exemplary manner, without making mistakes, so that one can firmly say about his activity: it deserves the highest score.

What does perfectionist mean? This is a person who is always dissatisfied with himself. He is no less dissatisfied with others, because he believes that in general no one else is able to do the job with dignity. The categorical nature of such a person applies to absolutely all spheres of his life. Signs of a perfectionist can be displayed in appearance, habits, family relationships, and at work.

From the character of a perfectionist, it also spreads to the rest of the people from the immediate environment. For the most part, this is due to the fact that he strongly strives to align everyone to his own norm, wants everyone to be guided exclusively by his rules. And if it happens that a person has deviated from the rules and did his due "not at all" - this is understood by a perfectionist as an insult or personal loss.

The fact that a person becomes a perfectionist is laid down in the peculiarities of the course of childhood. From childhood, it becomes noticeable that the child resists compromises, he is very independent and it is not easy for him to communicate with other children. They often find him strange, consider him not quite like the rest. The more mature perfectionist is chasing mirages, fictional ideals, and a bar that he sets for himself. If he fails to reach the height that he imagined, he will suffer hard, because he will consider himself a failure, but, in fact, he will do much more than is required.

Parenting is the main precondition for the emergence of perfectionism. If a man always strived for an impeccable appearance, the need to iron and starch bed linen, and an impeccable order in the house, then we can assume that his mother meticulously kept cleanliness in his family.

At first, every woman likes that a man loves order, but when she gradually realizes that this is a painful attitude to order, she disgusts it. A woman quickly gets tired of running around the house, cleaning off small spots, sweeping away specks of dust, rubbing cutlery to a dazzling shine.

Perfectionism in everyday life is born when, in childhood, a child was given the installation in everything he does for an ideal result. Of course, the perfectionist puts his hand to the perfect order that should be formed, however, regular moralizing on how to do the job perfectly will get enough of any patient and hard-working person.

Perfectionist husbands are great at combining household chores and work, but often look for a remote job. If everything in a relationship is so wonderful for the husband himself, then is his wife happy with this arrangement? In the intentions of every woman there is a desire to create her own order, but here the husband selects what rightfully belongs to her. Therefore, it will be better if perfectionists find a pair of their own kind.

Perfectionist - the meaning of the word

It seems to many that a perfectionist is a person with excellent dignity, they consider him quite confident, decent and impeccable. But psychologists determine that the perfectionist is often not who he is believed to be. Most of these people, which negatively affects the results of their activities.

The perfectionist does not perceive the meaning of the "golden mean", he distinguishes only between the extremes, according to which he determines the ideal or not the ideal. This person strives to do absolutely everything perfectly, much better than others or not start anything at all. He literally does everything himself, because he believes that asking for help is a manifestation of his weakness.

A perfectionist is a person for whom it is characteristic, who is the driving force of this individual. Its main goal is the need to achieve perfection for oneself and others.

If a person is a perfectionist, then he is an adherent of improvement or always striving for the top of perfection. Such a person seeks to reach the goal, having achieved it in full measure, the average result will not satisfy him. This is what often leads to stress.

A perfectionist is very difficult to perceive criticism, he is receptive to the opinion of society, because he wants to look perfect in front of others. Such a person hides his own shortcomings in every possible way so that those around them do not find them and cannot think of his personality as unworthy. Therefore, such people, basically, do everything to appear ideal in front of others. They interpret any small failure as their own insignificance and believe that they can no longer improve themselves, they feel useless, and they are significantly reduced.

Observing other individuals and, of course, yourself will help to understand what a perfectionist means.

A perfectionist is a responsible person who is highly attentive to subtleties. He is very afraid to make a mistake, so he strives to make everything perfect. Such a person spends a lot of time on improving what he does, he sets absolute ideals for himself, so everything else is unacceptable to him. He is a strict critic of himself, and does not accept criticism from outside. He always imagines the final goal, does not think about intermediate stages.

Although perfectionism is considered a vice, how could geniuses be geniuses if they did not observe extreme precision in what they did - in their theories, inventions and works. If every outstanding scientist did not bring his work to perfection, no one would know about his creation.

The perfectionist in the relationship behaves cold and distant with a partner. He may not understand at all that he inflicted pain in his words. He believes that his chosen one should be ideal, respectively, the relationship too. If he knows that they are still far from the ideal, then he begins to experience disappointment, and he perceives his partner as a traitor, and therefore rejects him.

If a perfectionist with his strict rules has become too intrusive, which prevents his loved ones from living in peace, then contacting a specialist will not be superfluous. Continuous tension through the desire for a perfect outcome, the fight against emerging obstacles can lead to various painful states of the body and psyche, to and.

If a perfectionist concludes that he needs to start somehow struggling with his desire to create an ideal order around himself and everywhere in the world, he should look for ways to do this. Since the antonym of the term perfectionist is imperfect, it means that a person needs to try to become, at least a little, the opposite of himself.

You should learn to take someone else's criticism calmly, soberly analyze it, understand your mistakes and mistakes of others, as an integral part of life. If a frivolous error has occurred that does not affect the process in a special way, then you should not attach importance to it.

You need to disaccustom yourself to criticize yourself; instead, it is better to get used to loving yourself, admitting your own mistakes and even loving them, since they give experience. When a person is confident, calm and attentive, then others want to communicate with him. If he gets used to doing the work so that the result is not lower than the ideal, this, of course, is very commendable, however, before starting a business, it is advisable to evaluate his own strengths and capabilities in relation to him. If a person objectively assesses that he is beyond his powers to do the job, accordingly, he should not take on it, because later he will be nervous and worried that he cannot do as he wants.

If he did get down to business, then he can limit himself in time and, at the end of the established period, leave work, not complete and not correct, because this is what affects the manifestation of excessive perfectionism.

If a perfectionist on his own cannot get rid of his annoying habit, contacting a psychologist will help him. Although perfectionism is a big problem, it is possible to overcome it.

Male perfectionist

All loved ones need to have boundless love and patience in order to adapt to a perfectionist man. They should be able to shut up in time, not to say too much and when they need to praise and support.

A perfectionist man is a person who stands out among other men for his manifestations of excessive, global self-criticism, rejection of external criticism, intolerance of mistakes, uncompromising and intransigence. These characteristics can make an adult male a whiner, pedant, or despot. Any of these cases will make loved ones unhappy, and their life is not easy. Everyone will have to adapt to the head of the family, the rules and orders, and endure his mood swings, which arise because he is either pleased with himself or extremely dissatisfied.

Day to day, a man can change - be proud and confident or, whining about life's injustice and failure, an insecure person.

A woman should not believe that this is fast-passing for a man, and he will soon change. This position of the husband is very persistent, so it remains part of the character and radical changes do not come. It is better to come to terms with the inevitable that cannot be changed and try to influence what is still possible to change. For example, you can tell your husband that if he does not move clothes in orderly rows at least once, then this time will be given to children or their common interests.

Many men have a fear of failure because they cannot achieve perfect results, so they never relax at all. It is necessary to offer a man such alternatives so that he can reflect on the irresistible desire for absolutism. Distract him from the perfect execution of daily activities. The help of a loving wife can prevent his depression. It is worth telling the husband that there is no clear need for a perfect relationship between spouses and children.

It is advisable to remind your husband that joint sports activities, walks will help loved ones learn more about each other, cheer up and improve health. It is worth periodically distracting him with his proposals in order to spend time together, if the man is intensively and deeply sitting on one work. The main thing is not to discourage him from doing his favorite work, so that he does not accidentally interpret how his wife's misunderstanding and this does not cause him.

Such a man should be aware of the suffering of his wife through the lack of due attention to her. Since this is also a kind of activity, of course, he will want this area to be ideal as well.

In order for spouses to feel order in household responsibilities, the wife should divide responsibilities so that those matters that need a thorough approach are given to the husband. The perfectionist spouse should be aware that the most responsible work is left for him, since this will increase self-esteem and strongly support. Manipulating his husband's perfectionism may appeal to him himself, since he does the job and he likes it. In this way, both the wife and the perfectionist husband are satisfied.

A perfectionist husband can help his wife around the house and get excited about cooking. At first, the wife will be pleased with such aspirations of her husband, but with his idealism he can get even the most hardworking and neat housewife.

An ideal couple will be both people who are used to bringing everything to perfection and can share obligations among themselves so that everyone can use their aspirations to the fullest. In the opposite result, quarrels and showdowns will periodically occur in the family. Re-educating a man is incredibly difficult, or it may not work out at all, but directing his efforts in the right direction is really to be done.

Perfectionist woman

Almost every woman knows that it is unrealistic to combine the characteristics of an ideal wife, mother, successful business woman and housewife, but not for the understanding of a perfectionist. This woman thinks that she is able to achieve the ideal in everything and combine these characteristics.

A perfectionist woman is a woman who differs from others in her desire to shoulder all responsibilities and all responsible work. She more than a male perfectionist suffers from the fact that absolutely everything is done at a high level. For her - appearance, work, household chores must correspond to a high level of performance. She also tries to be the perfect mother and perfect wife to her husband.

Such women are equally intolerant of the mistakes of others and their own. Very often, children of such women become hooligans, so they express their own protest against the strict rules of the mother, and the husbands leave, they get tired of living according to the laws dictated by the wife and find less demanding mistresses.

A perfectionist woman herself does not realize how demanding she is to her family. She has the same tone at work and at home, and she sincerely cannot understand that it is possible otherwise. Rather, it seems to her that if she changes, then it will be harder for her to control all the affairs. Naturally, she is not able to have time to do everything perfectly, others see it, but the woman, without ceasing to slow down, works as much as she can. As a result, she does not have time, she is left alone, everything becomes uncontrollable. To avoid all the potential problems facing loneliness, a woman needs to get rid of perfectionism.

A woman who is inherent in perfectionism considers herself obligated to do everything perfectly. She owes her family, husband, children, acquaintances, colleagues and friends. Must be an excellent worker and an ideal woman.

A perfectionist woman must look impeccable, be financially independent, contribute a share of her finances to the budget for general expenses, serve family life, sacrifice everything for the sake of children, try to maintain her health so that children do not abandon her, do not care for and look after her, must look young, so that my husband does not leave. She is obliged to cook deliciously, do the perfect cleaning, wash things, not show her fatigue and do hateful things with a smile.

She, by her own will, should go in for sports, since this is considered fashionable and will preserve her youth. She should be kind to everyone around her, help them disinterestedly, she has a gentle nature. She must constantly educate herself in order to remain interesting and erudite. She should throw out all the photos on which she looks imperfect, delete them from social networks so that everyone can see only the perfect one, even in the photo where she is with the company. All of the above leads to a single outcome - her nerves fail.

The perfectionist woman stops and realizes that she no longer has the strength to do everything flawlessly. She got confused about what and to whom she owes, and she no longer knows what she wants. But this is on the inside, and on the outside she is a confident and strong woman. She is still doing the very heap of things that she wants to complete perfectly. Due to the desire to make every business perfect, she loses time for other activities, so she feels guilty.

A perfectionist woman, although she tries to be the best wife, mother and friend, she cannot make a mistake to anyone. Mistakes are the failure to fulfill their direct duties, as follows, or rather, as the perfectionist woman established them. It is difficult for her to understand how everyone can allow themselves to live as they want, but not according to her rules, not to bear a mountain of responsibility, be frivolous and experience happiness, this drives her to fury.

Probably many such a woman seems to be an unpleasant, unfriendly and unfriendly person. But did she voluntarily become such, or, perhaps, under different conditions, she would have been a completely different person?

If a child from childhood was surrounded by certain standard stereotypes that were not worked out by him in adulthood, then they will take root in the personality. A girl, subject to the influence of such stereotypes, begins to rush through life, doing everything extremely correctly, as she was taught. In the most vital periods, she is not guided by personal opinion, but does what she is told, because others think that she is better off, and she agrees.

For example, they decide for her where to study, for whom, with whom she will live and where to work. The girl obediently does everything, becomes everyone's due. She becomes callous and closed, because she considers showing emotions a weakness, and she did not experience much happiness in order to be carefree. She had no time for fun, since many cases required excellent execution.

Such a woman needs a strong, confident man who will say that it is time for her to stop, and it is not worth living, as she was told, she is an independent woman and she herself has the right to decide how well she should do the job. A man can take several things to do for himself, so they will have time to be together.

A perfectionist woman needs a man who will be able to make her relax, help her analyze her behavior in order to realize how much time she spends in order to achieve an ideal result in something, which, in fact, is not required, and the main thing is that her She could spend more free time with loved ones.

The desire to bring everything that has begun to an ideal ending is a feature worthy of respect. A certain category of people strives for this, regardless of the circumstances, opportunities and desires of others. Perfectionists are great performers and strict bosses. They often succeed or, conversely, undermine their health in pursuit of the result.

Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy, known for his works "War and Peace", "Anna Karenina", became famous as a modest and sympathetic landowner, hardworking writer and the kindest person. But not everyone knows that his wife rewrote the epic novel in "clean copy" 12 times, regretting that her husband is not an ordinary aristocrat.

Steve Jobs, Nietzsche, Alexander the Great - today they are known as unique masters of their craft, but the problems in communicating with them are mentioned only in psychology textbooks. And all because the personality type - a perfectionist - is ambiguous.

A perfectionist is a person who exposes himself to great torment, and exposes others to even more torment.
Osho (Bhagwan Shri Rajneesh). Love. Freedom. Loneliness

Signs of a Perfectionist

A perfectionist is a person who strives to always bring everything to perfection - so that everything is in its place, the actions are always perfectly correct and correct.

Perfectionism has its pros and cons.

Is it bad when you want to have the perfect dress for you to look chic? But is it normal that the search for a dress in stores and on the Internet has already taken two months and continues to this day, but there is still no dress in the closet? During this time, my sister has already bought and is wearing several dresses, but there is always something that doesn’t suit you.

Either the color did not fit, the belt is not the same, the fabric wrinkles, the size is small, etc. You even missed your girlfriend's birthday for lack of a dress. And that's just the dress. What to say about work. Each task takes a lot of your time. The time for delivery is already running out, and you are redoing and redoing everything.

Signs of an idealistic perfectionist

If things in your closet are not sorted by color or by sleeve length, this does not mean that perfectionist tendencies are not inherent in you. They can live in you, influence your life, and contribute to the development of inhibitory complexes.

Check if you have any of these habits:

Perfectionists, or people with excellent student syndrome, try to do everything better than anyone else.

On the one hand, medals are a positive characteristic, since such individuals master skills to perfection and promote the development of science and art. They are equal to, they are respected, they are likened to them. They are real creators.

On the other hand, it is a pathology, due to which perfectionists believe that unworthy results of work should be destroyed.

Suffice it to recall N. Gogol, who burned the 2nd volume of Dead Souls. In such an indicative case, idealists become hostages of their worldview, they turn into a machine for completing tasks.

Reasons for the development of perfectionism:

Often, the problem of the perfectionist is rooted in childhood.
Earning attention and respect only through praise, the child understands: only doing everything perfectly, he is good, therefore he is loved. The reason is the reinforcement of the reflex by the parents.
Understanding that a person's value lies in his positive actions, in appearance, in actions.
Sometimes this reflex is fixed in adolescence, when a young man breaks off a relationship with a girl because of imperfect facial features or excess weight. She tries to look her best in order to assert herself, to raise her self-esteem.
Neurotic perfectionism develops on the basis of healthy idealism, but when a constant fear of failure leads to a state of complete dissatisfaction with oneself, sometimes it even causes nervous breakdowns.

Everyone wins if the "excellent student's syndrome" is developed in moderation, in a particular industry, but does not cover all types of personality activities.

Best the enemy of the good?

They share the forms of "idealism", where the type of people - perfectionists - is distinguished by two types of goals that they set for themselves, and views on their mistakes.

Lucky for the environment of the idealist and the person who has developed adaptive perfectionism... Such a person will perceive failure as a springboard to achieving a higher goal, consider it a challenge.
Have inadequate perfectionist mental health problems are possible, since obsessions are doomed in advance to succeed in spite of everything, including common sense. For such people, the word "good" is on a par with "bad." They only want the best ending.

Personality Traits - Perfectionist:

Long planning of actions in which efforts would have to be spent to a minimum. Attention to the smallest detail.
Long-term lack of result, because in the process of work, more and more flaws appear.
The habit of returning to a long-abandoned business, unwillingness to bring it to an end, because the ending is “not perfect”. Excessive requirements for colleagues, relatives, friends.
The feeling that the whole world is obliged to live up to the ideals of the perfectionist.
As a result, dissatisfaction with oneself and others. Sometimes it develops into resentment or aggression.
The desire to meet the requirements of other people, which also leads to personality problems within oneself.
Rejection of criticism against the idealist, painful vanity, low self-esteem.

Psychologists often think that a perfectionist is someone who is afraid of responsibility. In fact, this is so, because only a person with inadequate idealism does not know how to admit his mistakes.

“Ideal” male perfectionists become leaders of large enterprises, excellent scientists or the military. But often they hide within themselves boys who are waiting for praise or their own approval.

“Ideal” female perfectionists also tend to undermine psychological and physical health due to their workload, both at work and at home.

Perfectionist women strictly monitor their appearance, try to cook well, keep up with work. But constant stress cannot be beneficial. Complexes and self-doubt develop. There is a feeling that life is passing by.

The pros and cons of perfectionists

Perfectionism, within the framework of the norm, is beneficial for an individual or for an entire society. It helps you plan for the future, create convenient work schedules, and even accelerate progress.

PROS OF PERFECTIONISTS

The ability to achieve success, but subject to complete dedication and the presence of talent or ability.
Punctuality, exactingness, seriousness are developing. These are the traits of a leader, but subject to the psychological characteristics of the personality.
Development of perseverance in achieving goals, self-confidence, evolution of creativity.

CONS OF PERFECTIONISTS

Constantly succumbing to perfectionism, a person loses the ability to think creatively.
Fatigue builds up. Such people should remember the anecdote about a horse working on a collective farm, which was never able to become the chairman.
A feeling of hyperresponsibility, when a person “must” to everyone, but at the same time, he is afraid of being responsible for actions and misdeeds.
Dislike for one's own and others' shortcomings develops, envy for other people's successes appears, visibility in others - competitors. This leads to the destruction of the personality.

Sometimes the desire to do everything perfectly leads to delays in the delivery of work when deadlines are violated. Workaholism can also develop. But all is well, that in moderation.

The dangers of perfectionism

It’s very good to be different. Having individual positive characteristics in the manner of doing business or in communicating with others, you can achieve excellent results in almost any form. But psychologists say: you shouldn't strive for the ideal in everything. A lot of perfectionists have suffered and continue to suffer from the inability to bake the perfect cake or write a perfect semi-annual report at work.

A perfectionist is not only difficult at work. It is difficult for them to find a life partner for themselves. Perfectionist couples are very rare. And when raising children, a perfectionist can, at an early age, mutilate their psyche with their demands to fulfill all assignments perfectly. There are no ideal people or ideal professions in the world. But one must strive for the ideal. This is self-development.

If a person with "excellent student's syndrome" does not become personal, does not begin to fully dispose of a colleague, friend, child or other half, then it is very convenient to live and work with him. They boldly look up to him in work, imitate him, orient themselves towards him, admire him.

Another plus is that a perfectionist is a person who tries to do everything himself, because no one can do anything better than him. Sometimes you can relax and let him show his "perfection."

Rules for communicating with a perfectionist:

Take an example from him in perseverance and hard work.
Sometimes shifting the responsibility onto him, which is not a sin.
While he is doing monotonous or laborious work, you can rest. When the “ideal” person takes the habit of making constant remarks, one can pretend that he is being listened to carefully. In order not to destroy their own self-esteem, others are not obliged to delve into every corrosive word of a perfectionist.
If claims and behavior develop into tyranny, and heart-to-heart conversations do not have the desired effect, they help such a person come to the conclusion: the help of a specialist is primarily necessary for himself.

The proof is constant fatigue, decreased concentration, suffering of loved ones due to inadequately high expectations and requirements.

Perfectionist child: what should parents do?

Let's remind that from English the word "perfectionism" is translated as "striving for the ideal". In psychology, this phenomenon is considered a disease of high standards, that is, an excellent student's syndrome.

Perfectionism starts to develop from a very early age. Basically, the parents themselves are to blame for this, who really want their baby to be the smartest, and, therefore, they themselves expose inflated requests for education. For example, why their child took second or third place instead of first in the competition. Why on the subject their child received a grade of "4" instead of grade "5".

All this causes misunderstanding and a desire to raise the bar higher in them. And the child, in turn, thinks that his parents do not love him, because he did not live up to their hopes. And therefore, to deserve their love, you need to become the best. Such a stressful state of the child can cause him a nervous breakdown, as well as a psychosomatic illness.

When parents begin to make high demands on their child, they must remember that all this will not pass without a trace for him, especially for his psyche and development. A high grade is not the most important thing in learning. The main thing is the knowledge and skills gained, which will always be needed in the future life of their baby.

How can parents know that their child is a perfectionist? To do this, you can conduct a little testing of your child:

He wants to study for high grades and adult approval.
He can cheat without problems in order to get a higher score.
Quickly gets annoyed if he is not praised, his self-esteem drops.
He envies the success and high marks of other children.
He does not like criticism, accepts it very painfully.
For the sake of study and excellent grades, he refuses rest and entertainment.
Failure can lead to depression.
A mental illness is forming.

If the parents answered “YES” to 3 or more items of this test, then they should understand that their child is a perfectionist. Because they are too demanding of their child, that is, they raised the bar.

What should be done in such a situation:

Parents are obliged to try so that their child could not compare the concept of "success" with the concept of "approval" or "love". Because he will earn the respect and approval of others, including parents, in different ways.
In no case should you scold and punish a child for a bad grade. Because a child with such an excellent student's syndrome is afraid of condemnation and punishment, and will try to cheat and manipulate grades. For example, he will keep 2 diaries, one for school, the other only with good grades for parents.
It is imperative to show the child that the respect and love of parents for him does not depend on success in school, but because he is loved for who he really is.
Your child should often say what a good fellow he is, the best, even if someone is better than him. The main thing is to take into account the result, and pay less attention to the details.
It is always necessary to teach the child to treat failures correctly, so that when he becomes an adult, he does not perceive them as a failure of his life.
It is worth teaching that mastering something new is more important to him than a high grade. Just a failure in business should be taken calmly, draw a conclusion and move on. There are no perfect people, everyone makes mistakes.

The most important thing that parents should remember is that you just need to love your child just for the fact that he is in their life.

Prevention of the "excellent student's syndrome"

It is easier to prevent pathology than to deal with it. It is enough for parents to know that in the upbringing of children they focus on the assessment of the child's actions, and not on his personality. For mom and dad, a son or daughter should always be good, loved, the best - without conditions.

For adults, everything is more difficult, they will have to change their beliefs:

We must learn to accept ourselves as we are. With flaws and advantages, as a unique person who was so lacking in the world.
Love yourself. You cannot gain respect and compassion for others without experiencing it for yourself.
Accept that the world is not perfect, it contains not only benefits and, but also problems.

Even Goethe argued that man is 3 hypostases. This is what he thinks of himself; what others think of him and what he really is. And you can recognize yourself throughout your life.

A perfectionist needs to prove that he is not perfect himself, but makes someone happy in life - then Mister Perfection will look at others in a different way.

Perfectionism treatment

If the "excellent student's syndrome" does not have a neuropathic background, work on persuasion is needed. Through cognitive psychology, specialists ensure that the idealist himself reconsiders life positions.

Three steps to getting rid of perfectionism:

Set an achievable objective based on realistic and feasible criteria. It is important in the process not to accomplish more than the intended goal requires.
Think over what you will have to pay for the achievement. This is the amount of time spent, health, strength, and sometimes free time with loved ones.
Keeping pace with the times means that the perfectionist and other types of people involved in achieving the goal must meet the time frame. It is impossible to postpone, postpone, allocate time for revision.

Here are some more tips for perfectionists:

All your business should be assigned a certain time and strictly follow this schedule. So you will not be able to get hung up on one thing for a long time and learn to switch. You will have time for other activities.
You need to treat your mistakes correctly. Mistakes are a lesson for the future. In the future, mistakes made will be a resource for you, a baggage of knowledge that will allow you to cope with the task faster and better.
Criticism must be present in our life. If you heard it, then, as a perfectionist, you must understand that perfection is not yet close. What seems ideal to you may look very different in the eyes of others. How can you reach the ideal if you do not know what it is? How do you get praise if the result of your work differs from what society expects?
Don't "dig yourself". You don't have to go back to the past all the time. We must understand that the past can no longer be changed. The result of the past is our experience. Better to praise yourself more often, encourage and pamper yourself. It's nicer than gnawing on yourself all the time.

If you work on yourself, you can also extract positive aspects from perfectionism:

Everything can be done according to the plan or schedule, but to the maximum.
If you feel that you can do more, you see real potential in yourself, spend your time and energy on improving your “I”. Your achievements will also increase.
If you gave your best, but did not finish something during working hours, leave it for the next time. Tomorrow with renewed vigor, you will achieve an even better result.
Having the same resources and opportunities, setting yourself realistic goals, you will always achieve more than others.
Do not set yourself high, otherwise you will not be able to enjoy the result. After all, you, as a maximalist, can rejoice to the fullest. Since you, as a maximalist, can rejoice to the fullest, do not miss this opportunity. After all, you are still the best.

But if perfectionism has neuropathic prerequisites, they turn to a psychotherapist. It will help destroy illusions about the structure of the world and the patient himself. He will also understand the reasons for this condition.

Instead of an afterword

To finally answer your question, perfectionists are hostages of their own and others' ambitions, or people who need to be equal, one can recall the examples of great inventors.

D. Mendeleev is known as the inventor of the periodic system. He spent many years on her, but worked scrupulously to please his mother. She alone tried to make Dmitry, the 17th child, be admitted to a prestigious university. All his life became a proof of his mother's love and gratitude.

Another idealist was the physicist L. Landau, who came to the conclusion that marriage cannot be called a good word. He won the Nobel Prize, but because he was busy, he forgot about his wife on his wedding night. With the words: "Oh, I'm unhappy!" never left the next laboratory tests.

Being a perfectionist is sometimes good - future generations will appreciate your work. But will his descendants be among them? And is it easy to go through life next to someone who is obsessed with making everyone perfect? And isn't it dangerous? How do you think? Share your opinion with us!

For many people, the meaning of the term "perfectionism" is not very clear, although in fact each of us is faced with what this word means every day. There are people who adhere to one principle in life - "to be ideal in everything." Until they achieve their goal, they cannot fully enjoy life, because to some extent they are obsessed. In this article, we will explain in detail with photo, who is a perfectionist person.

"Perfectionism" is a word that came to the Russian language from Latin. Translated, it means "perfection". Consequently, people who strive for absolute perfection are called perfectionists.

In other words, a perfectionist is a person who all the time sets hard-to-reach goals for himself and struggles to achieve them, no matter what it costs him. For a perfectionist, it is the end result that is important, and what means can be used to achieve it, he does not care.

That is why perfectionists are often very demanding not only of themselves, but also of those around them. They do not forgive mistakes, they are very self-critical. Psychologists name two main reasons, why people become perfectionists:

Psychological trauma from childhood: for example, one of the parents brought up their child very strictly, constantly insulting him or accusing him of worthlessness, which as a result made him want to prove to mom or dad that he could be the best at everything.
Complexes that are also formed in the family. If the child is disliked, then he will try his best to be the best parent. If he spent his entire childhood exclusively studying, receiving only excellent grades, then, most likely, he will be the same at work.

There are several main features that distinguish perfectionists from other types of people:

they imitate successful people, so they set themselves very high goals;
they are sure that all the people around them expect only the best results from them;
perfectionists constantly compare themselves to someone;
they plan their day so that they do not have a single free minute;
they are deeply immersed in their shortcomings or mistakes;
perfectionists do not know how to accept criticism and at the same time they are never satisfied with their work;
they prefer work to rest;
most often they are alone, because all other people, except for them, are nonentities who do not strive for anything (the only exceptions are the same perfectionists).

Now we'll take a closer look at what perfectionists are:

men
women

Male perfectionists

Perfectionism is inherent in every man. Ideally, it should be for a man to simply see the prospects of his life in front of him, set achievable goals and achieve them. Perfectionism can become a problem when it becomes the meaning of life. In this case, life is not very sweet for the loved ones of such an obsessed man. They have to adapt to it in everything.

Even " Wikipedia "will not help anyone get along with a person who has decided to become a perfectionist:

A distinctive feature of perfectionist women from men is the fact that they want to be ideal immediately in all spheres of their life, and not just in one thing. And this, as everyone knows, is impossible or just very difficult. A woman will definitely not receive joy from such a life and pleasure.

Moreover, neither family members, nor colleagues, nor ordinary people around, do not need a woman to prove something to someone. Excessive demands of a perfectionist lady to her household can simply lead to the fact that she will remain lonely and unhappy.

Perfectionist children

As we mentioned above, a perfectionist is a person who is afraid failures. This quality is very well traced in the behavior of children. They are:

focus on only one thing
can sit for days at homework until they complete it perfectly
react violently to parents who try to disrupt the child's plans

Parents definitely need to identify signs of perfectionism in their child at the earliest stages of its development. Because in adolescence, it can develop into a mental illness, which will have to be treated in the offices of a psychotherapist and neurologist.

People who happened to live in the same apartment with an idealist or work with him need to learn how to communicate with such a person, because it is easy to understand the behavior of a perfectionist - he is guided by his own worldview, in which everything should be perfect.

Psychologists give some basic tips on how to deal with people who are called perfectionists:

try not to obsessively in a conversation with an idealist to let him understand that the world is not as perfect as he imagines it;
involve the perfectionist in various entertainment activities so that he is distracted from the hustle and bustle of everyday life;
help him in any way to relieve the tension that the perfectionist creates for himself;
do not be offended by him if he reacts or criticizes you hot-tempered - for him this is the norm in communication;
support him in everything, show understanding so that he reveals his feelings, which he carefully hides from others;
if a perfectionist succeeds in achieving a goal, he himself will not be happy about it, so your task is to create a festive atmosphere for him.

Basically, you don't need to interact with a perfectionist if you don't want to burden yourself with caring for an adult with a strange outlook. But if your situation suggests that you need to live with an idealist under the same roof, use the advice of the professionals that we have presented for you above.

How to get rid of perfectionism?

If you - a person who saw signs of prefectionism in himself, then you need to take steps to get rid of this dangerous quality. Experts advise you to do the following:

Be clear about your strengths and weaknesses in character and talents. This will help you set your goals and priorities correctly.
Try to objectively measure the results of your work. Try to look at them from the outside in order to understand if everything is really that bad or if there are still positive aspects.
Set goals that you can actually achieve in the allotted working time. You cannot work when it is better to devote time to rest.
Don't treat criticism like a tragedy. Everything that you hear from others is just their personal opinion. Consider what only your family and close friends think.
Learn to praise yourself and compare with other people. You are unique. Love yourself as nature created you.

Notable perfectionists

Perfectionism isn't always a bad thing. There are many examples of perfectionist people who have managed, thanks to their quality, to achieve very great success. Among them:

Leo Tolstoy is a unique person who possessed an unforgettable talent for writing. He carefully re-read his manuscripts to bring them to perfection.
Steve Jobs - he not only created a high-quality electronic product, but also achieved that it is not only outwardly attractive, even all the internal mechanisms are very neat and beautiful.
Alexander the Great, who wanted to surpass all the generals who ruled before him, and to conquer half the world, which, in fact, he succeeded.

Basically, if you want to be superior to other people in something, you can do your best. However, do not overdo it, there should be a measure in everything. Obsession with something cannot be the meaning of life, because there is so much beauty that you really need to devote your time to - family, children, love. Just be happy and live a real life, not the one that you invented in your head.