What does coming out mean in simple words. What does coming out mean, in simple words about the difficult coming out who recently

He believed that the secretive existence of minorities reduced their ability to influence public opinion, and therefore encouraged homosexuals to become more visible by coming out.

Therapist Iwan Bloch, in his work of the year entitled "The Sexual Life of Our Time and Its Relationship to Modern Civilization," asked older homosexuals to come out for heterosexual family members and acquaintances.

The first significant person to come out in America was the poet Robert Duncan. After announcing his orientation in the year, he was discharged from the army shortly after being drafted. In a year under his real name in an anarchist journal Politics, he declared that homosexuals were an oppressed minority.

The formerly clandestine Mattachin Society, founded by Harry Hay and others in the Los Angeles presidential campaign of the year for Wallace's nominee, also came to the public eye when San Francisco led a group homosexuals Hal Call, Ken Burns and Don Lucas stood up openly.

Other people who hide their sexual orientation do not have any heterosexual contact and simply want to protect themselves from discrimination or rejection by hiding their sexual orientation or attraction. M. Beilkin asserts: “to understand the motivation of such behavior, special knowledge is not required. We are talking about the forced submission of a homosexual to the social rules of a society that does not at all encourage sexual dissent. "

The coming out process

• foreboding differences from other people that occur in a person before puberty;
• doubt in heterosexual identity during adolescence;
• adoption their unconventional identity, which may not be achieved due to hostile social attitudes;
• identification yourself as a representative of sexual minorities, establishing a connection between sexuality and emotionality, integrating your sexuality into the “I” image.

Since no specific "reasons" for the formation of the sexual identity of homosexuals have been found, the very process of coming-out and its theoretical foundations are controversial: none of the developed models can be considered exhaustive. Nevertheless, they agree on one thing: the process is not linear, and a person can simultaneously solve several psychological problems related to different stages of the process.

Realizing your own orientation

The psychological model of the coming-out process, developed by Eli Coleman, assumes the presence of the so-called "pre-detection" stage, preceding the coming-out, in which the child in early childhood begins to feel his difference from his peers, as well as the emerging conflict of his feelings with those learned in the family negative attitudes towards homosexuality. At this stage, many people are unable to explain what is wrong with their attraction to the same sex, and feel their difference from others long before they relate it to their belonging to sexual minorities.

Therapist Henley-Heckenbrück stresses that

"Individual nuances of the definition [ human] its identity is difficult to enumerate. They are determined by personality and character traits, the age when a person first became aware of his otherness, the peculiarities of the course of physical processes, the rigidity of family views (in particular those related to sexual behavior), religious education, negative or traumatic experiences associated with sexual orientation. "

The age of awareness of their homosexual experiences for gays and lesbians is different. According to observations conducted by researchers Jay and Young, for men this age is 13-14 years, and for women - 18. Most men begin to have sexual intercourse with persons of the same gender even before they realize they are gay. Women, on the other hand, usually guess about their orientation long before entering into intimacy with persons of the same sex.

Coming out can be preceded by a period of uncertainty, when a person believes that his sexual orientation, behavior or sense of belonging to the opposite sex is a certain transitory “phase”, or rejects these feelings for religious or moral reasons.

Psychological and social problems of coming out

Coming out is a complex process that can have both positive and negative social and psychological consequences for the individual who commits it. In this regard, people who have already come out and determined by trial and error which behavior is the least traumatic for the person himself and his loved ones, tried to generalize this experience in the form of recommendations. Parents and Friends of Gay and Lesbians (PFLAG), a US organization, discourage, in particular, coming out during holidays and other stressful situations, such as quarrels.

Usually, coming out is not a one-step process, but a gradual, developing process. In most cases, sexologists recommend that you “open up” first to a trusted friend or family member, and then take a break, postponing further confessions. Some people know about their orientation at work, but they are not suspected of being in the family, or vice versa. However, actually coming out is not limited to a one-time confession to one person or group of people.

Some researchers have found that the degree of a person's openness about their orientation in different life situations is directly related to the absence of stress and neuroses.

Parents' attitude towards coming out

For parents on a number of websites, as well as in other publications, various psychological recommendations are presented on how to adequately relate to the coming out of a child.

National coming out day

According to the American LGBT organization "Campaign for Human Rights", the so-called "National Day of Coming Out" is called upon to consistently and orderly implement the concept of coming out across the whole society. It is held annually on October 11. Initially, this event was held only in the United States and then spread throughout the world. According to the organizers, it helps to reduce the possible negative consequences of coming out both for the psyche of a person's relatives, friends and relatives, and for himself.

History

The history of the American National Coming Out Day dates back to October 11, when 500,000 protesters marched through the streets of Washington to demand equal rights for gays and lesbians. The decision to hold an annual come-out day was made in the year with the participation of Dr. Robert Eichberg and Jean O "Leary, an American gay and lesbian rights activist, politician and former nun. The founders of the event set the goal of acquainting the majority of the population with the LGBT community and its movement for equal rights.

Symbols and attributes

National Coming Out Day emblem by artist Keith Haring

The emblem of the American coming out day was created by the American artist Keith Haring, who became famous in the 1980s, who worked in the genres of urban street graphics, graffiti and pop art. In many of his works, themes of same-sex relationships were played up.

The organizers of the event recommend that participants on this day wear certain signs or symbols: an inverted pink triangle, the Greek letter "lambda", as well as a 6-color rainbow in the form of jewelry, flags or on clothes, in order to demonstrate by their example the presence of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transsexuals in all walks of life, across all ages and ethnic groups.

The famous hit “I’m Coming Out”, performed by American pop star Diana Ross, can be considered the unofficial anthem of the day of coming out in particular and the entire gay community in general. It was composed and produced by composer Nile Rodgers in collaboration with other musicians, inspired by a party in a California disco club, where he once saw several transvestites imitating Diana. After the song was released in the spring of the year and firmly took the top lines of the charts (the highest position - 5th in the Billboard music magazine), Diana Ross became a gay icon of the LGBT community on a par with such artists as Madonna, Gloria Gaynor, Cher, Kylie Minogue, Barbra Streisand, Judy Garland, Marlene Dietrich and Shirley Bassey.

Support

The National Coming Out Day is patronized by one of the largest LGBT organizations called the Campaign for Human Rights. She publishes special materials with recommendations on how to properly approach the issue of disclosing one's own orientation to relatives, relatives and friends. The organization also disseminates data on which companies and corporations are most tolerant of LGBT employees at work (the so-called "Corporate Equality Index").

Celebrity coming out

Britney Spears' scandalous kiss (left) and Madonna (right) at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards

Coming out is most noticeable among popular people, whose personal life is constantly in the spotlight of the media. These are mainly representatives of creative professions: ballet dancers, pop singers, designers, actors, directors, etc. However, some extremists also come out, for example, British neo-Nazi Nikki Crane who died of AIDS shortly before his death confessed in their homosexuality.

There is a point of view that even non-gay, lesbian or bisexual pop culture representatives resort to fake come-out in the form of “sensational revelations” or public actions as a means of increasing public interest in their person (for example, this is what the Russian group Tatu "Using a lesbian image at the start of her career, and singer Madonna, kissing Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears on the lips while singing" Like A Virgin "at the MTV Video Music Awards of the year).

The case of the British pop singer George Michael illustrates the exact opposite reaction of the public: his public recognition in a year of his own orientation alienated some of his fans from his work, as a result of which the singer's popularity in the United States fell sharply, which was one of the reasons for his prolonged depression and creative crisis. ...

Ballet dancers

Musicians, singers

Actors

Designers

Politicians

The cover of Time magazine, April 14, 1997, in which TV presenter Ellen De Generis confessed that she was a lesbian

Journalists and TV presenters

Writers

Athletes

Social relevance and influence

The result of the implementation of the concept of coming-out in the framework of public programs (in particular, the almost 20-year annual celebration of the day of coming-out and a number of other events to reduce the level of homophobia in the United States) was the fact that an Internet survey of almost 3 thousand Americans revealed : 70% of heterosexuals aged 18 and over know personally someone who is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender (for comparison, in Russia this figure is 10% according to the statistics of the Public Opinion Foundation). Moreover, 83% of those people who consider themselves to be members of the US LGBT community reported that they did not hide their orientation.

Another multi-year study based on 120 opinion polls, conducted by political science professor Kenneth Sherrill of the Center for Sexuality and Public Policy at Hunter College and co-authored with Patrick Egan of the Center for Democratic Policy at Princeton University, found that a family member who is openly gay or lesbian, increased public support for registering gay partnerships by 17% and improved public attitudes towards adoption of children by gay couples by 13%.

Coming out theme in works of art

Some fictional works discuss the situation when a heterosexual character makes a "fake coming out", identifying himself as an LGBT community for the sake of fame, money or any other preferences. In the future, the situation repeats itself, and later he performs the same "come-out procedure", but only in the LGBT community itself, publicly declaring that he is heterosexual. For example, the film Tango Threesome was dedicated to a similar problem, and in Francis Weber's comedy The Chameleon, the hero of Daniel Auteuy makes a fake coming-out so as not to lose his job (he works as an accountant at a condom manufacturing enterprise, among whose clients there are a lot of homosexuals ). In the anime "Strawberry Eggs", the student publicly admitted that she fell in love with her teacher, who was then publicly revealed as a guy in disguise.

The theme of adolescent coming-out is also raised in the Krampack film.

Criticism

The largest Christian organization "Exodus International", which is part of the anti-homosexual movement, in response to the "National Day of Coming Out" launched a celebration of its own "National Day to End Homosexuality" ( National Coming Out of Homosexuality Day) in honor of "the changed lives of former homosexuals - several thousand men and women." The organization’s president, Alan Chambers, states: “As one of these thousands of people who have experienced change, I know that there is a life beyond homosexuality. For many of those who feel loneliness and emptiness in their homosexual life, there is a way out. "

John Paulk, "ex-gay" and organizer of regular anti-homosexual conferences called "Love Won Out", sponsored by family values \u200b\u200badvocate Focus on the Family, says : “To millions of people concerned about the problems [ homosexuality], they say that coming out is the solution to their problems. But for some, this is just the beginning, and we want them to know - there is a way out of the emptiness, loneliness and confusion experienced by many in homosexual life. "

Anti-gay activist Mike Haley, "ex-homosexual" and presenter of Love Overcome conferences, states: "Hundreds of thousands of people struggling with their sexuality, including youth at risk, are being pushed to come out. as a means of solving their problems. People need truthful information to make healthy life decisions, and so-called “pride” events are regrettable in this regard. The truth is there is a way out for those struggling with unwanted homosexuality. "

Therapist Warren Throckmorton, assistant professor of psychology at Grove City College, Pennsylvania, USA, responding to questions from teenagers who have doubts about their orientation and sexual identity, says they do not need to rush to come out and "hang on themselves shortcuts ":" You yourself may not know exactly how to name your sexual feelings. You shouldn't make a hasty decision about which category of people you belong to. This is true for both adolescence and later life of young people. Some well-intentioned people, teachers or counselors may claim that young people come out and identify with gays and lesbians as early as 12-13 years old. While there are some teens who are in a hurry to take this step, it is really unwise. Sexual feelings develop over an extended period of time [...] The sex hormones of adolescents are more active than ever, so your sexual feelings can be extremely strong, but not focused on one thing. This is normal".

Feminist Criticism

The concept of coming out is also criticized by some in the LGBT community. In particular, feminist Judith Butler says that the metaphor opposing a person's states "inside" and "outside the closet" implies that life "in the closet" or in the shadows is a dark, marginal and false existence, then how life "outside", "in the beams of spotlights" reveals the true essence of man. American feminist theorist Diana Fuss explains: “The problem, of course, is the inside-outside rhetoric: this controversy overlooks the fact that most of us are both inside and outside at the same time. and "outside" ". Fass continues: “to be 'outside,' or 'in sight,' as gay people say, actually means exactly the opposite; “To be outside” means finally to stop being constrained by external circumstances, as well as all the exceptions and deprivations caused by being “inside”. In other words, "being outside" is actually being inside. Inside a visible, articulated and rational cultural space ”.

Gender and feminist theorist Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick in his 1990 book " Closet epistemology”On the basis of literary heroes analyzes in detail the perception in modern society of the phenomenon of male homosexuality and of the“ closet ”itself, which homosexuals“ leave ”. Kosofki criticizes the strict division between heterosexuality and homosexuality, as well as the thesis that a homosexual is a kind of separate type of person, whose sexuality turns out to be "contagious." The author admits that, perhaps, in every man, as in a "closet", there is a "woman's heart" and that this is not a characteristic of some "species" or "minority", but rather one of many possible possibilities. The author comes to the conclusion that the “closet”, perceived as a kind of secret, private homosexuality, is in fact a public entity, and the “exit” from it performs the function of a kind of “performance” or “show”. Denying the opposition of the private and the public, Kosovski in his reasoning comes not to the fact that homosexuals carry out "exit from the closet", but to the discovery of the fact that in fact the "closet" is "transparent" or "empty". Thus, homosexuals, according to Kosofka, turn out to be only a "hastily formed group of men" for "ostentatious" purposes.

Notes

1. Constitution of the Russian Federation, Article 23 "Everyone has the right to inviolability of private life, personal and family secrets, protection of his honor and good name."
2. "Tatu" in the lesbian wilds... Moscow's comsomolets. No. 46, December 22, 2000
3. Johansson, Warren & Percy, William A. Outing: Shattering the Conspiracy of Silence. Harrington Park Press, 1994
4. Gross, Larry. "Contested Closets: The Politics and Ethics of Outing." Minneapolis & London, University of Minneapolis Press, 1993
5. Meeker, Martin " Behind the Mask of Respectability: Reconsidering the Mattachine Society and Male Homophile Practice, 1950s and 1960s". Journal of the History of Sexuality - Volume 10, Number 1, January 2001, pp. 78-116
6. Paul Varnell. " Revising early gay history". October 2, 2002, Chicago Free Press
7. Hooker, Evelyn. Male Homosexuals and Their Worlds. Sexual Inversion: The Multiple Roots of Homosexuality. Judd Marmor, ed. New York: Basic Books, 1965, pp. 83-107.
8. Gay pioneer's papers enter Library of Congress
9. M. M. Beilkin. “Gordian knot of sexology. Polemic Notes on Same-Sex Attraction ", pp. 89-91
10. Ericson, E. (1946) "Ego development and historical change." The Psychoanalitic Study of the Child, 2: 359-96
11. Davis D., Neil Ch. Pink Psychotherapy: A Guide to Working with Sexual Minorities, St. Petersburg: Peter, 2001, ISBN 5-318-00036-3
12. Grace, J. (1977) "Gay despair and the loss of adolescence: a new perspective on same sex preference and self-esteem." Presented at 5th Biennial Professional Symposium of the National Association of Social Workers, San Diego, November
13. de Monteflores, C. and Schultz, S.J. (1978) Coming out. Journal of Social Issues, 34 (3): 59-72
14. Kimmel, D.C. (1978) "Adult development and aging: a gay perspective." Journal of Social Issues, 34 (3): 113-30
15. Cass V.C. (1979) Homosexual identity formation: a theoretical model. Journal of Homosexuality, 4: 219-35
16. Troiden, R.R. (1979) Becoming homosexual: a model of gay idetity acquisition. Psychiatry, 42 (4): 362-73
17. Woodman, N.J. and Lenna, H.R. (1980) Counseling with Gay Men and Women: A Guide for facilitating Positive Lifestyles. San Francisco, CA: Jossey Bass
18. Coleman, E. (1981/82) "Development stages of the coming out process." Journal of Homosexuality, 7: 31-43
19. MacDonald, G.J. (1982) "Individual differences in the coming out process of gay men: implications for theoretical models." Journal of Homosexuality, 8 (1): 47-60
20. Minton, H. and MacDonald, G.J. (1983/84) "Homosexual identity formation as a development process." Journal of Homosexuality, 9 (2/3): 91-104
21. R. R. Troiden (1989). "The formation of homosexual identities". Journal of Homosexuality, vol. 17, No. 1/2/3/4, pp. 43-74.
22. Jay, K. and Young, A. (1979) "The Gay Report: Lesbians and Gay Men Speak Out About Sexual Experiences and Lifestyle." New York: Simon and Shuster
23. Hanley-Hackenbruck, P. "Psychotherapy and the 'coming out' process". Journal of Gay and Lesbian Psychotherapy, 1 (1): 21-39
24. Weinberg, T. (1978) "On doing and being gay: Sexual behavior and male self-identity." Journal of Homosexuality, 4: 143-56
25. 19 tips for a successful come-out
26. Eight Tips for Coming Out
27. http://www.pflag.org/fileadmin/user_upload/holiday_tips.pdf
28. Kon, I. Moonlight at Dawn. Faces and Masks of Same-Sex Love ”. Part III. Me and Others - Finding Myself
29. Evelyn Hooker, "The adjustment of the male overt homosexual", Journal of projective techniques, XXI 1957, pp. 18-31
30. Answers to Your Questions About Sexual Orientation and Homosexuality // American Psychological Association FAQ
31. T. B. Dmitrieva, Director of the "V.P. Serbsky Center for Social and Forensic Psychiatry", Academician of the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences, Doctor of Medical Sciences, Professor, in her work "Guide to Forensic Psychiatry" (2004) writes: "Modern official Russian psychiatry opposes any psychiatric treatment, both "conversion" and "restorative" therapy, based on the premise that homosexuality is itself a mental illness, or on the premise that the patient must be willing to change his sexual orientation. As for practice, there is not a single case known that psychiatric or drug treatment in this area has a positive result. Human sexual, sensual, emotional experiences are artificially unchangeable. "
32. The average age of a logout is 13 years
33. Dale O "Leary. Gay Teens and Attempted Suicide
34. Teen suicide
35. Excerpt from the book Miletski, Hani. Understanding Bestiality and Zoophilia. East-West Publishing, LLC, 2002, ISBN 0-9716917-0-3
36. Pet-abuse.com: Admitted zoophile beaten by father with crowbar
37. Richard Dyer (2002). "The Culture of Queers". ISBN 0-415-22376-8
38. Blood & Honor - Britain's fascists split
39. Oi! - The Truth by Garry Bushell
40. Jim DeRogatis. Kiss them off. Chicago Sun-Times, Aug 29, 2003
41. Barry Walters. Listen, without prejudice - pop musician George Michael "s professional life... The Advocate, May 12, 1998
42. Judy Wieder. All The Way Out George Michael... The Advocate, Jan 19, 1999
43. Rudolf Nureyev: the tragedy of the richest dancer // RIA Novosti
44. Italian writer wrote a book about 10 "great homosexual passions of the 20th century"
45. Claude Bernardin, Tom Stanton. Rocket Man: Elton John from A-Z... Praeger / Greenwood, 1996. ISBN 0-275-95698-9. Page 48.
46. Walters, Suzanna Danuta. All the Rage: The Story of Gay Visibility in America... University of Chicago Press, 2003. ISBN 0-226-87231-9. Page 4.
47. Burston, P. "Honestly". Attitude 1.4 (August 1994): pp. 62-69. http://www.glbtq.com/arts/pet_shop_boys.html

Accept your essence and admit to others what you are afraid to admit to yourself, it is difficult for any person. Especially when it comes to celebrity. However, such daredevils are still found. However, there are those who do not need extra confessions - everything is clear with them. But today we will talk about those from whom no one expected anything like this. We present the TOP 10 celebrities who have come out, that is, openly admitted their non-traditional sexual orientation.

Kristen Stewart, 1990

The mysterious Bella from "Twilight" was so convincingly burning with feelings for the on-screen lover in life that the public did not doubt the girl's traditional sexual orientation. It would seem that a further romance with the director of "Snow White and the Huntsman" Rupert Sanders, who is 19 years older than Kristen, only secured the image of a heterosexual nature for the actress. But it was not there.

Stewart is increasingly beginning to be noticed in the company of open lesbians, including Alisha Kargile. The actress does not react to speculation, until in 2016 in one of the interviews she explicitly called the girl her “friend”.

However, Kristen's official coming-out took place on the air of the evening show, in which she announced that she was in a relationship with model Stella Maxwell.

Wentworth Miller, 1972

Initially, the star of "Escape" positioned himself as 100% heterosexual and was not part of his plans to take his words back. However, life ordered otherwise.

Miller came out to protest the harassment of people with non-traditional sexual orientation in Russia. The truth was revealed when the actor was invited to the International Film Festival, which was held in Russia.

Agree, there is no better place to admit that you are going under a “different flag”. Miller addressed his cry from the heart directly to the Russian government in the person of Vladimir Putin, stating that "his honor does not allow him to participate in festive events in such a country." In the West, the actor's act was admired.

It turns out that this is one of the most popular actors who have come out in Russia!

Colton Haynes, 1988

The actor and performer was forced to hide his entire adult life that he was gay, being sure that only by pretending to be heterosexual, you can count on a good career. Once he tried to make a confession, but it almost ended in tragedy.

And yet you can't hide a sewing in a sack. In 2016, Colton reveals his secret to the world in a very emotional interview on a TV show.

Ellen Page, 1987

The star of Inception, Lollipop and Juno made her heartfelt confession at the 2014 International LGBT Conference. It was then that the young actress made a super-emotional speech in which she confessed that she was a lesbian. The girl said that she did not want to lie anymore, first of all, to herself. In January 2018, Paige became wife and wife with choreographer Emma Portner.

Holland Taylor, 1943, and Sarah Paulson, 1974

The 31-year-old actresses have been dating since 2015. But if Taylor never hid her belonging to people with non-traditional sexual orientation, then the star of "American Horror Story" Sarah Paulson behaved much more restrained.

The only time she let the public know that she liked girls was when she passionately kissed her friend and colleague in front of the cameras in 2005 for the Tony Awards. However, she did not directly declare her predilections. Moreover, Paulson feared that Taylor's confession would hurt her career. Which, fortunately, did not happen.

Christian Nairn, 1975

The two-meter Hodor from "Game of Thrones" never really concealed his orientation, but did not consider it necessary to shout about it at every corner. The DJ and actor made the confession in an interview on one of the fan sites dedicated to the cult saga. Christian believes that sexuality is only a small part of a person's personality, so you should not attach great importance to it.

By the way, on our site there is an interesting article about. We highly recommend!

Lily-Rose Depp, 1999

The daughter of actor Johnny Depp and singer Vanessa Paradis confessed to the uncertainty of her sexual orientation in 2015 on her friend's Instagram. The father publicly supported his daughter, adding that he knew about her sexual preferences and was very proud of her courage.

James Franco, 1978

The sexual orientation of the actor and director was discussed for years, until Franco himself described himself in an interview as "a little gay" and "a lover of teasing boys", expressing surprise at the public concern about this issue.

Bella Thorne, 1997

The singer and youth film star has made it clear about the nature of her sexuality by posting a photo of her kissing a girl on Snapchat. When Twitter users directly asked the actress if she was bisexual, Bella replied “Yes” and thanked her millions of followers for all the tweets with words of support.

Cara Delevingne, 1992

The girl never gave unambiguous definitions of her sexual interests, despite a passionate relationship with the star of "Fast and the Furious" Michelle Rodriguez.

However, in 2014, she made a confession on her Instagram: “I was late for National Coming Out Day, but better late than never”.

P.S.

Whose confession was the most unexpected for you? And which celebrity do you think will open their skeleton closet next time? Leave your versions in the comments. The editors of the site will be happy to study them, and also expect any information from you about celebrities who have come out.

Summing up the results of 2016, we suggest recalling 10 celebrities who were not afraid to announce their gay sex.

1. Bex Taylor-Klaus

Actress Bex Taylor-Klaus, best known for her roles in Murder, Arrow and Scream, officially announced her gay sexual orientation in November this year. Becks told the world about this via Twitter: “Hello! My name is Becks and yes, the rumors are true: I'm a lesbian. " Becks also said that loved ones are aware of her personal life. She revealed the truth on Thanksgiving Day, when the whole family gathered around the table. The actress admitted that it was a very awkward moment.

2. Cristiano Ronaldo

On November 21, Spanish radio station COPE, citing its own sources, broadcast the contents of the conversation of the famous football player of Real Madrid Cristiano Ronaldo in the locker room after the La Liga match with Atlético (3-0), in which the Portuguese made a sensational confession. According to COPE, Ronaldo said: “Koke called me gay. I answered him: "Yes, I'm gay, but I'm very rich, bastard."

3. Tyson Fury

WBA / WBO World Heavyweight Champion Tyson Fury came out on July 18, confessing his homosexual preferences. “I would like to admit: I am gay,” the boxer wrote on his Twitter page. However, fans of the athlete considered this recording a joke. After all, just a few hours before the recognition, Tyson Fury became a father for the second time. What he also shared with his subscribers on the Web, posting his photo with his wife and son from the hospital.

4. Cousin of Queen Elizabeth II

53-year-old Lord Ivar Mountbatten for the first time in the history of the British royal family publicly admitted his non-traditional sexual orientation on September 18. Mountbatten decided to come out five years after his divorce from his wife Penelope, with whom he had been married for 17 years. “Penny knew about this before we got married. I told her that I was bisexual, that I was attracted to both women and men. She was understanding, and I will always be grateful to her, ”said the lord. It should be noted that Mountbatten has three children and, despite this, he has already started a relationship with the manager of the aviation cleaning service, James Coyle, whom he met in 2015.

5. Elizabeth Gilbert

The acclaimed novel Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert, came out in September. On her Facebook page, the writer announced that she was in love with her best friend Raya Elias. Gilbert was prompted to "emerge from the shadows" by the news that Elias had liver cancer. “Something happened to my mind and heart in the days and weeks when we learned about the Rain diagnosis. Death or its perspective removes everything that is not real, and, standing there, in this strong and absolute reality, I had to face the truth: I do not just love Paradise - I am in love with Paradise. And I no longer have time to deny it, ”Gilbert wrote.

6. Robert Pattinson

In September, one of the famous Indian magazines published an article with an exclusive interview in which Robert Pattinson came out. The actor spoke about his relationship with a man whom he loved very much. In addition, Robert shared his impressions of a joint holiday in the Bahamas. The man, in whom the famous actor fell in love, turned out to be 31-year-old Brad Owens, who works as a model. However, the actor himself did not deny this information.

7. Waylon Smithers

Waylon Smithers from The Simpsons came out and first openly showed his feelings for boss Mr. Burns in early April 2016. Animated series writer Rob Lazebnik, who wrote the episode, stated that he is dedicating the hero's coming-out to his gay son. “I thought that the best way to confess my love and support to my son was to create a cartoon about it,” Lazebnik said. He added that he had been hatching the idea of \u200b\u200bSmithers coming out over the past several years and only then proposed it to his colleagues.

8. Sharon Osborne

In April, Sharon Osborne unexpectedly announced that she was attracted to the female sex and regretted that she never gave vent to these feelings, even in her youth. Ozzy Osbourne's wife came out on the TV show The Talk. “I was sure that all people are bisexual, like me. I'm not “a little gay,” but would very much like to know what I missed, ”Osborne said. Now Sharon is 63 years old, most of which she is married to Ozzy, and, in her opinion, for some kind of sexual experiments she is already old.

9. Lilly Wachowski

The Matrix director Lilly Wachowski, formerly known as Andy, came out and revealed that she is a transgender woman, like her sister Lana. She wrote a column for the Windy City Times with an ironic headline "Sex Change Shock: The Wachowski Brothers Become Sisters !!!" According to Lilly, her decision to talk about her gender identity is largely due to the threat of outing: for a long time she feared that journalists would talk about her gender identity without her consent.

10. Oscar Zia

A popular singer in Sweden - 19-year-old Oscar Zia - made a public coming out on the day of the start of the national selection for the international Eurovision Song Contest in February. “My parents do not know about this, and it was not easy for me to confess - I kept this secret for a year and a half. At school I thought that with time it would pass, I would find a girl, get married. But now I'm sure of who I really am, ”said Oscar.

Star Trek star Anthony Rapp said that once Spacey tried to seduce him and persuade him to act of a sexual nature: Anthony at that time was only 14 years old, Kevin - 26. Spacey immediately reacted to the accusations: he publicly apologized The actor, although he said that he did not remember such a case (but fully admits that it could have happened), and also admitted that he had affairs with both women and men in his life, but now he chooses the path of an open gay. This recognition did not surprise the public much - rumors about the actor's gay orientation circulated throughout his career. However, Spacey was censured and ostracized for the fact that with his coming-out he tries to divert attention from accusations of pedophilia.

It is not yet known how the incident will affect Kevin's career in the future, but his already prestigious Emmy award, and the American company Netflix, which produces the series (House of Cards), where Spacey plays the main role, announced that the series is for one more season. After and shooting the current season.

In the light of recent events, the editors of the site decided to recall other stars who came out and tell how this affected their careers.

She came out in 2010, claiming she was bisexual. However, the actress's courage and honesty were not appreciated: after her frank confession, Hurd almost lost her career. Studio directors, agents, and consultants were against the girl's openness to her preferences, but Amber couldn't help it:

I wanted to be honest with myself and others, although everyone said that recognition would ruin my career,

- said the actress. This could not ruin her career, but, as Amber later recalled, she was labeled "lesbian", which, of course, was reflected in the number of roles offered.

In 2008, Amber met with the artist and photographer Tasey van Ri, with whom she even registered a relationship. Then the girl turned her attention to men: first she married the actor Johnny Depp, and then with the billionaire Elon Musk. High-profile novels helped the actress become a world star, and coming out did not affect this.

When George Michael was 29 years old, he told his parents about his homosexuality. His mother was always afraid that her son would become the same as her late brother, who preferred men and whose fate was tragic: unable to withstand the condemnation of society, he committed suicide. Subsequently, Michael dedicated the song My Mother Has A Brother to his uncle.

My mother thought she was a carrier of a bad gene, and therefore allowed my father to be homophobic,

- said George.

The reason for Michael's coming-out was the death of his lover, Anselmo Feleppa, in 1993.

When I was little, a gay waiter lived next to us, and I was forbidden to be near him. Supposedly, I could "pick up" something from him. My father was Greek Cypriot. He had radical views, and he never came to terms with the fact that his son was gay, and his mother was always afraid of him. At the same time, when I opened up to them, writing a four-page letter, my mother said that this is the most touching thing that she read in her life,

- the singer admitted in one of his interviews.

George Michael officially admitted his sexual orientation in one of his interviews in 1998, after he was caught in a public toilet "for indecent actions" and demanded an explanation.

After that, the singer's popularity declined for some time. His discs began to sell less, and fans began to turn away from him. This led the artist to a creative crisis and prolonged depression, as well as to the use of drugs. Subsequently, popularity returned to the singer, but condemnation and sidelong glances due to sex scandals haunted George Michael all his life.

The star of the vampire saga "Twilight" has never really been oriented and has always been an ardent defender of the rights of the LGBT community. True, for the time being, no one suspected that Kristen prefers women, because at first she met with a colleague in the "twilight" saga for four years.

However, when this relationship ended (it did not work), Kristen found in the person of her former assistant Alicia Kargile. The paparazzi now and then caught the girls together, and they did not hide from the reporters at all. Publicly, the actress did not comment on this novel, rightly believing that everything is clear to everyone. It wasn't until 2016 that Stewart decided to make a statement that could be considered hers.

When I dated guys, I always tried to hide what I was doing. It seemed to me that everything personal immediately became some kind of banal, and I did not like it. We were turning into characters from a stupid comic, and I thought, "You make my relationship the way it is not, and I don't like it," But that changed when I started dating girls. I thought that if I went into hiding, it would mean that I do not welcome such a relationship or ashamed of it, so I needed to change my behavior in public. It made my life more open and I am much happier

- admitted Stewart.

Close actresses supported her. Mom, for example, even with her girlfriend:

She is my daughter and she knows that I will accept any of her choices. I dated her girlfriend, she's pretty cute. Why should I be against it?

After Alicia, with whom the actress either got together or parted for two years, Stewart had a short affair with the French singer Soko and Cara Delevingne's lover Annie Clark.

Zachary later admitted that he was oppressed by the need to hide his true nature. He wanted to come out much earlier, but dared only after the tragic story of a gay teen who committed suicide due to bullying at school. His revelation did not prevent him from continuing to act in the movie "Star Trek", in which the actor played the role of the cult character in the series - Spock.

Lord Ivar Mountbatten became the first member of the royal family to publicly admit his non-traditional sexual orientation. In 2011, the cousin of Queen Elizabeth II divorced his wife Penny, and in September 2016 he made an official statement in which he announced that he had been meeting with the director of the cleaning aviation company James Coyle since 2015. The reason for Mountbatten's come-out was his unwillingness to hide his relationship from the public.

I struggled with my orientation, and in a sense, I continue to do so to this day. It took a long time for me to admit it

- declared Lord Mountbatten.

By the way, the ex-wife of Ivar, from whom he has three daughters, always knew about the preferences of the ex-spouse and never tried to prevent this. For example, now she goes to yoga with his boyfriend.

Of course, not all celebrities who have come out are as lucky as some of the heroes on our list - many, after frank stories about their personal lives, began a long streak of career failures. What is really surprising that many celebrities still prefer to hide their gay, afraid to put an end to their careers. But times are changing, and even if Kevin Spacey came out of the closet (albeit not very well), then maybe soon we should expect other loud confessions too? ..

Photo Gettyimages

Thanks to the sexual revolution, men and women have been given the freedom to choose their sexual partners. As a result, same-sex couples and new concepts have emerged that relate to certain aspects of life and behavior of people with non-traditional sexual orientation. One of them is coming out, and not everyone understands what this word of foreign origin means. Meanwhile, in certain circles it is actively used.

What does coming out mean?

The concept of coming out comes from the English phrase coming out, which translated into Russian means “exit”, “disclosure”, “recognition”. Other variants of its writing are coming out, coming out, coming out.

Wikipedia explains in understandable language what a coming-out is - a process of voluntary recognition of one's non-traditional sexual orientation or the result of this process. This term is applied to gay, lesbian, bisexual, LGBT (transgender people) who do not hide their attraction to same-sex partners.

What does it mean to commit, make or announce a come-out? This means revealing your sexual attraction to a same-sex partner. The word coming out in this expression means recognition.

What is the difference between coming out and out?

Even in the context of the sexual revolution, when same-sex marriages are no longer shameful, not all people are ready to speak openly about their non-traditional orientation. However, there are those who are ready to publicly declare their love for a same-sex partner. As a rule, this is done for the sake of gaining fame, PR, gaining popularity. This usually happens in celebrity circles and is not always true.

On a note! The word coming out differs from the similar concept of out, which also means exposing the fact of an unconventional personal life to the public, however, by outsiders, against the will of the gay or bisexual himself. Outing is usually done to damage someone's reputation or compromise.

A bit of history

For the first time, the details of what a coming-out is were revealed in 1869 by the German journalist and lawyer Karl Heinrich Ulrichs, who actively defended the rights of sexual minorities. He argued that in order to gain popularity, it is enough to declare yourself in this way. According to him, after such recognition, one can have a significant impact on people, gain authority.

The first to come out was the poet from the United States, Robert Duncan, but it soon became known that this was the reason for his dismissal from the army. He was offended and in one of the magazines began to actively resent the oppression of sexual minorities.

In the 20th century, the concept of coming out moved into a section of scientific terminology and ceased to be jargon. This was due to the merits of Evelyn Hooker, who devoted a large number of works to the study of communities with non-traditional sexual orientation.

On a note! Many are accustomed to the fact that same-sex marriages are treated more easily abroad than in domestic countries. And for some, it was surprising that such a word as coming out appeared in Russia.

The coming out process

Recognition of coming-out is a complex multi-stage process, passing through which means opening up not only to others, but also to oneself. According to psychologists, it is necessary to disclose one's non-traditional sexual orientation gradually. First you need to confess to the person you trust the most. For example, it could be a family member or close friend. There are cases when all colleagues at work knew about a person's sexual orientation, while relatives did not even know about it. This means that there was simply no person among close people who could be trusted, and the relationship with a colleague is much warmer than with family members. Sometimes it's easier to open up to someone else than to your own.

The coming-out process consists of the following steps:

1. Think carefully about your actions and consequences.
2. Tune in, mentally imagine what the reaction of others will be after such a recognition.
3. Find the right way. You can come out jokingly, seriously, or casually, as if by chance.
4. Prepare for possible problems. You must always be prepared that others will negatively perceive the recognition.
5. Choose the person you can trust first.
6. After the first confidential confession, it is worth gradually opening up to other people.

These are the main advice that should be heeded by all those who are going to go against the established public opinion for years.

Famous people who came out

For many people, it can be a support for the fact that some famous personalities were not afraid to publicly declare their non-traditional sexual orientation.