I loved you so sincerely gently. "I loved you silently, hopelessly ...

Our in love Pushkin Egorova Elena Nikolaevna

"I loved you silently, hopelessly ..."

The heart of the poet was divided, although it is unlikely that this rubber stamp is appropriate in this case. Figuratively expressing, the house of venins can be called "the house where the hearts" of Russian poets are broken. In 1809, N.I. Gallet was passionately fell in love with the young charming Anna Fedorovna Furman, as a child, the remaining orphans and brought up in the family of veins. Elizaveta Markovna and Alexey Nikolayevich very much fagged by Galotchu and advised to wander, but Anna did not hide her indifference to one-eyed, disfigured Phalet. In 1814, Constantine Nikolayevich Batyushkov, who returned to St. Petersburg from the current army, who came back to St. Petersburg from the current army was pensive blue-eyed. Passionate prayers of the poet and the advice of receiving parents bowed Anna to an agreement on marriage with him, but she honestly admitted that he could give him his fate, not a heart. Noble Batyushkov refused marriage. Unhappy love for Anna Furman largely contributed to the development of that sincere disease, which he suffered later. Anna married love only at the age of 30 for a rich businessman Wilhelm Oom, several years lived with him in Rive and, early Ovdov, returned to St. Petersburg with four young children. To maintain a sleeve family, Anna Fedorovna served for many years to serve as the main overseas of the St. Petersburg educational house. She is still closely friends with Anna and Barbaroi venison, was a welcome guest in their homes.

N.I. Gleal. D. DOU (?)

from the original O.A. Kiprensky 1822

At the end of 1828, Pushkin, not found in the family of deer supports and the expected understanding, is experiencing deep disappointment. In early December, the poet comes to Moscow, where he receives a letter A.A. Deligus, who writes: "The city of Petersburg believes the lack of yours is not aimless. The first voice doubts whether you have left without need, whether I will not lose any reason; The 2nd assures that you went to the materials of the 7th song "Eugene Onegin"; 3rd assures you have been settled and you think to marry; The 4th guess that you are the avant-garde of the venins who are going to Moscow ... "

However, these are not all rumors about the relationship of Pushkin and deer. When, upon arrival in Moscow, he visited the Ushakov's house, the more people were already known about the hobby of the poet of the deer and the refusal of her parents. Ekaterina Nikolaevna Ushakov, followed by the poet after returning from the reference, was then promoted for Dolgorrukova. To the question of Pushkin: "What am I stayed with something?" - Offended by treason Ushakov replied with a stinging pun: "With deer horns." In the album, her sisters Elizabeth Nikolaevna Ushakova, in the marriage of Kiselev, preserved the autographs of the poet, somewhat inhabited by him portraits A.A. Velenina and satirical drawings of the sisters on the topic of failed matchmaking.

On one caricature is drawn a coquest young feature in a dark wide-headed hat. Near the hand of P.S. Kiselev, Son Elizabeth Nikolaevna, made a pencil inscription: "Olenina". The lady stands with a fishing rod on the shore of the pond and catches on the bait in the form of a large beetle of men floating on the surface. Signature says:

How to catch a fish

I am on my rod

Then I will be glad

I'll have to have fun

I'm walking!

Cartoon on A.A. Wenenina and A.S. Pushkin in the album ate. N. Ushakova. L. 94. 1829

A man in the cylinder is drawn on the other shore and with a cane, according to Kiselev, A.S. Pushkin, and written: "Madame, Il Est Temps de Finir!" ("Madame, it's time to finish!"). Appeal to the deer as a married woman, leads to such a thought: the caricature contains a hint of Pushkin's fate in case of marriage. A roll call is felt here with the phrase of Ekaterina Ushakova about the "deer horns."

Especially interesting drawing, where the man is depicted with a bundle, similar to Pushkin, kissing a handle in fashionable dressed ladies. Hand Catherine Ushakova Released Signature:

Away, away, go away,

What a restless!

Away, away, reject,

Hands unworthy!

The lady depicted in the battered form with high hairstyle and small legs very much resembles a veonken, as her poet painted in the same album. It is characteristic that her handle is composed of Cukish.

Cartoon on A.A. Wenenina and A.S. Pushkin in the album ate. N. Ushakova

1829

However, the fateful for Pushkin events on the eve of the new New Year 1829 occur not in the Ushakov's house, but at the Christmas ball at the dancer Iogel, where the poet first meets Young Beauty Natalia Goncharov, his future wife. I broke out love for her displaced the previous feeling of A.A. Olenina. At the beginning of 1829, the poet wrote a wonderful Elegy "I loved you, love still, perhaps ...", facing Anna. The poem captivates the sophisticated romanticity, beauty and nobility of the senses described:

I loved you: love still, perhaps,

In my soul, I was not completely out;

But let her no longer be disturbed;

I do not want to peel you nothing.

I loved you silently, hopelessly,

Then timidity, Tom's jealousy;

I loved you so sincerely, so gentle,

How God God for your beloved to be different.

The draft poem is not preserved, so the exact date of his writing is unknown. For the first time, the poem was published in a new collection "Collection of Russian songs. Words A. Pushkin. Music of different writers ", a censorship permit for the publication of which was obtained on August 10, 1829. Prepare the collection was probably started 3-4 months before passing into censorship, since the notes were engraved manually, which required a long time. The author of music to romance in the collection is "Count T". This, most likely, the composer is an amateur Count Sergei Vasilyevich Tolstoy, with whom Pushkin communicated in the house of its Moscow Friends of Ushakov, where both were frequent guests. There and could get S.V. Thick poems "I loved you ..." In early January or March - April 1829, when the poet lived in Moscow. Romance is written before the publication of poems in "Nordic colors for 1830" is likely to autograph Pushkin or an authoritative list. The sixth line in the romance text was read "that passion, then Tomise's jealistic." Such she was in the early editorial office of the poem and reflected the feelings of the poet at the time of the essay of poems.

A.A. Venison

Fig. A.S. Pushkin 1828

According to the testimony of the granddaughter Anna Alekseevna Olga Olga Nikolaevna, who issued his grandmother's diary in Paris in 1936, in her albums the great poet made some faith to her poem. IS HE. Oo in the preface to the publication wrote: "Knowing how I was interested in her past, my grandmother left me an album in which Pushkin came among other autographs in 1829," I loved you: love still, perhaps ... ". Under the text of this poem, he in 1833 made a prescription: "Plusqueparfait - has long passed, 1833." Waving me this album, Anna Alekseevna expressed a desire that this autograph with the later assicious was not devoted to publicity. In the cache of his soul, she kept the reason for this wishes: whether it was simple regret of the past or affected feminine pride, I am unknown. " The album was kept in the family of O.N. Oh, in the first marriage of Zveznzova, until 1917. The presence in it of Pushkin autograph poem "I loved you ..." regardless of O.N. Oom confirmed the famous composer Alexander Alekseevich Olenin, the grand-nephew A.A. Olenina.

When could poet write poems in the album mentioned? Almost all 1829 The likelihood of his meeting with the deer was small. In October 1828, Pushkin goes to Malinniki, and then to Moscow, and venison remains in St. Petersburg. In early January 1829, he returns to Petersburg - they go to Moscow, in early March - he is back in Moscow, and they returned to St. Petersburg. The poet could meet with deer, except that, mumbling on the road, at best on the post office, where the situation is unlikely to have placed to the albums. On May 1, the poet went to the southern journey, in Arzrum, and in the northern capital appeared only in November. He modifies the poem "I loved you ..." and gives it to "Northern Flowers" for publication. At this time, his relationship with deer aggravated, which resulted in unfair lines in the drafts of the VIII chapter "Eugene Onegin", where A.N. Olenin is called "prolase" and "Nulkom on the legs" (hint on the monogram), and Anna Alekseevna - Zhemamane, Piscai and untidy young lady, owner of an evil mind. Why did the poet written so and also stressed the name of venison from the list for sending a business card to the new 1830? It is not significant that it caused a sharp outbreak of the negative in Pushkin: suddenly suddenly insulting memories, heated whose touchlessness, mockery, gossip, slander, or some kind of new misunderstanding. It is unlikely that the reason for the statements or actions of the deer themselves, who feared the secular rumors who can throw the shadow on the reputation of unmarried Anna. The girl himself, especially, was for nothing to speak in the world for almost a year, when the incident has long been exhausted. She was fascinated by prudent thoughts about the possibility of marrying Matvey Wielgorsky. And the soundless and gossip in the highest light were abuse.

It is unlikely that it was a serious incident. Spoolen irritation on paper, the poet calmed down. Hisoid lines on the deer in Belovik did not fall. In the same period, Pushkin drew the wonderful portraits of A.N. and A.A. Velenins in the draft "Tazita". On January 12, 1830, the poet appeared in their house in a mask and Domino in the merry company of the company, along with E.M. Heathrovo and her daughter D.F. Fikelmon. The latter wrote that Pushkin and her mother were immediately recognized by masks. Then, most likely, the famous poem "I loved ..." appeared in the album of Anna Alekseevna. This translated their relationship to another plane: the love and courtship of Pushkin became the property of the past.

There are different versions about the addressee of the poem "I loved you ...". Among his possible inspirations are called Maria Volkonskaya, Carolina Suman, Natalia Goncharov and even Anna Kern. However, all these hypotheses are based on purely indirect arguments, and some of them are expressed on the basis of dating poems by the end of 1829, which adhered to the discovery of a music collection with the first publication. And it is difficult to attribute to these women with which the poet was fond of at different times, the 3rd and 4th poems: they could hardly be disturbed or to peel the love of Pushkin then. And to Anna venison these lines, like everyone else, is quite natural. The most likely addressee of the poem is, of course, it is she who confirms and recording Pushkin under an autograph in the album "PlusqueParfait".

In February 1833, Pushkin, together with the deer, participated in the funeral of N.I. Galdich, a close friend of this family, almost household. Surely a lonely poet remembered them. The offender could appear exactly then. It is unlikely that at such a sorrowful day Anna pierced Pushkin with a request to write in her album. She, apparently, simply laid out albums for those who wish to record. Maybe, writing a "long-lasting", the poet realized that the attack would upset the girl, and to soften the impression, he recorded on the next page, which remained empty, the poem "What is my name ...":

What's in a name?

It will die like noise sad

Waves splashing in the shore date

As the sound of the night in the forest is deaf.

It is on a commemorative sheet

Leave the dead trace like

Pattern of inscription gravestone

In incomprehensible language.

What is in it? Forgot long

In the waves of new and rebellious,

Your soul will not give it

Memories of pure, gentle.

But on the day of sadness, in silence,

Toscuing him, say

Tell me: there is a memory of me,

There is a heart in the world where I live ...

Here simultaneously sad notes farewell to a woman, the love of which remained in the past, and the hope that this woman is sometimes still remembered the poet. The poem was inscribed by Pushkin on January 5, 1830 in the Album of Carolina Sovhanskaya, which, most likely, is dedicated.

Carolina by Adamovna, beauty - polka, Pushkin was fond of the southern link. Sumanskaya was, it seems, a woven of contradictions: on the one hand, an elegant, intelligent, educated woman who is fond of arts and a good pianist, and on the other hand - windy and vain coquette, surrounded by a crowd of fans who changed several husbands and lovers, and besides , According to rumors, the secret agent of the government in the south. The relationship of Pushkin with Carolina was far from Platonic, as he shows the letter of the poet to her: "You know that I experienced all of your power. I am obliged to the fact that there is the most convulsive and painful in love intoxication, and everything that is in it the most stunning. " But, as in the case of Zvarevskaya, who reappeared again at the beginning of 1830, the feeling of the sobhanskaya was short and could not eclipse the gentle love for Natalia Goncharova and the desire to combine with her fate, which was carried out in February 1831.

After the marriage, Pushkin almost did not have been from the deer, but met with them on the balas, official receptions and walks in the royal village, where the cottage was located near the cottage of this family. Despite the cooling between A.S. Pushkin and A.N. Velenine, it is impossible to call the relationship between them hostile. In December 1832, Alexey Nikolayevich responded unconditional agreement to election of the poet to the members of the Russian Academy of Sciences, where they later met at meetings. In 1835, Pushkin answered agreement to the letter Alexei Nikolaevich about the donation to the monument to the Iliad translator. In 1836, Olenin was warmly presented by the poet Sculptor N.S. Pimenov at the autumn exhibition at the Academy of Arts. Pushkin's communication continued and with other members of the family of venison. It is assumed that in the 1830s the poet was in the house of Peter Alekseevich, Son A.N. And E.M. Olenines, participant in the Patriotic War of 1812. In 1833 P.A. Olenin was resigned in the rank of General and settled with the wife of Maria Sergeyevna, nee Lvov, in the village of Borissevo Novotorzhsky County of Tver Province, where the road from St. Petersburg to Moscow took place. Peter Alekseevich was a very pretty man, a talented artist - an amateur. Pushkin could meet with him and in the estate of Mitino under the Torcho, who belonged to Lviv, his wife's parents.